Enterprise
by Handy-for-the-bus
Summary: Anna is the only child of Simon and Amelia Smith, owners of a successful cotton factory. When she reaches the age of 21, they decide she's old enough to learn the family business and wed the son of Simon's most trusted business partner. However her parents plans don't go as they wish when Anna discovers that the world holds more than an arranged life. AU, begins in 1851, London
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N:**Welcome to my new multi-chapter! I'll try to update as much as I can but as you'll see these chapters will be all pretty long. I'm not used to write such long chapters but I feel the need to do it for this fic. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I'm enjoying writing it :) _

_**Disclaimer:** Downton Abbey characters belong to Julian Fellowes. _

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><p>The year of 1850 had been the coldest ever witnessed by any living men; at least that's what everyone said. Barely a soul moved along the mighty streets of London on that New Year's morning. The snow covered every object and piece of land as if paint had be thrown all over the landscape.<p>

People were dying. Starving. Freezing. Dropping on the ground like flies. The main streets of London; full of splendour and rich proprieties warmed up by immense fireplaces, hid the awful truth of the poor slums around them.

As if in rat nests filled with dirt and darkness, children cried. Some because they were hungry, others because their parents were dead beside them.

The rich emperors of a long lost empire, who during the Spring walked around green gardens hand in hand with fancy dressed up women, were ignorant about this horrid reality, but then their reality was dinner parties and making sure that tea wouldn't be after five o'clock. Both realities were real whether it was wrong or right. Men were born to be servants and masters, and it is up to God to chose which one you'll be, but sometimes, even God makes mistakes.

XXXXXX

1850 had been good for some and bad for others, and 1851 wouldn't be any different.

Anna sighed in her room while her maid helped her choose the dress to wear for the first day of the new year.

'Which one do you want, Miss?' Elsie Hughes asked, showing her a pink dress and a blue one. Both with laces, both terribly expensive.

'I really don't know, Elsie. Must I go?'

'Of course you must, Miss. Your father and his friends will be waiting for you. He would be so disappointed.' Elsie gave her a pointed look.

'I know that.' She sat down on her bed looking out the window to an icy cold white that layered the streets, carriages, and houses outside. It wasn't so bad if you were witnessing such sight from the comfort of your room. She thought.

'Come on, Miss, you'll see your friends That's something to look forward to, isn't it?'

She looked over at her maid melancholically. 'They are my father's friends, Elsie. Father and mother's friends. I don't have any friends of my own.'

'Oh miss, what am I then?'

Anna giggled. 'You are my mother, Elsie!'

'Don't say such thing, Miss. Your mother is...'

'You gave me your breast when Mother couldn't, didn't you?'

'I did, Miss. That I did.'

'Well then?'

XXXXXX

'Ah, Anna my darling daughter. Come and join us!'

She did as her father told her, and soon she was surrounded by noisy men and women wanting to meet and talk to her. The blue dress had been her choice, but she was not a party kind of person, and the blue represented the colour of her soul. As her mother used to say, she was not a high society kind of girl even though she had to be. Sometimes she wished she had been born into a humble family, surrounded by brothers and sisters and parents who loved each other, instead of the unloving family she'd been born into.

People were dancing around her and drinking champagne, some inviting her but she always recused, as politely as possible.

The dining room was lit by candles giving it a yellowish colour. Every dress and suit shined under the lights and everyone had a glow around them. Long hair tied in great hairdos, makeup, powder and scents filled the room making it look bigger than it was.

Burning like an imponent master, the fireplace adorned the lunch party as the centre of all attention. Couples were dancing right in front of it as if its burning wood was rating their performance.

Anna was bored.

'Anna.' Her mother called in a low but firm voice. Grabbing her wrist with the subtlety that Mrs Smith was known for, she scolded her daughter without giving too much away. 'You go in there and dance when the gentlemen ask you to dance. Some of those men are doing business with you father, you should show your appreciation.'

'But mother, I'm not keen to dance. I would much rath...'

'If you are going to say that you much rather be in your room with your nose stuck inside a book you better think twice, young Lady. I don't want to hear that nonsense now.'

Anna remained silent giving away her guilt. Mrs Smith gave an exasperated sigh before continuing, 'See Mr Johnson's son, Charles?'

'Yes.'

'Well then, if he asks you to dance, which he will, you'll dance with him.'

Anna knew exactly what this was about. Business, or should she say, marriage.

For people like her, that was the correct term for such ceremony. It was a trade. Her hand for influence and money. She'd always known this time would come. She had been raised for this kind of bargain and she'd never thought of objecting it. After all that's what her world was all about.

Mr Albert Johnson and his son had been friends of the family for as long as she could remember. When she was just a little girl they would come for business dinners. She would never play or talk with Charles, but he was familiar to her and at least she knew what he looked like. How many women had married to someone they didn't even know? Charles was a rather fetching young man, only three years older than her, with blond hair and blue eyes, much like herself. He was skinny and tall and had perfect teeth. The image of a fairytale prince. Oh well, he wasn't all that bad at all.

And as her mother professed she saw him approaching her with a mischievous smile on his face.

'May I have this dance?'

She accepted his hand and he guided her through the room.

They danced two waltzes before she begged him to stop.

'I hope I didn't tire you.'

'You didn't.'

'You don't like to dance?' His eyes were kind on her.

'I do. I love to dance but...I'm not in the mood for waltzes today, I'm afraid.'

'We don't always have to enjoy ourselves.'

'Tell that to Mother.'

His smile was gentle and his eyes sparkled. She should start liking him for her own good.

XXXXXX

Eventually time passed and to Anna's relief the party didn't extend until dinner. Before six o'clock everyone was gone and the house was silent once again.

'I think that went well.'

'It went marvelous, Amelia! Two of the vendors I wanted to do business with are going to the factory tomorrow morning so we can arrange the contracts.'

'That's wonderful, Simon!' Mrs Smith spoke, trying to look impressed, as she sat down in the chair by the fire to work on her embroidery.

There was no one more predictable than her mother. From nine to midday Mrs Amelia Smith would sew, from two o'clock until five she would sew, tea time between five and six, sew until dinner and then sleep. There had been a time when Anna was a child that they would both go for a walk with the company of Elsie for an hour or so, but those times were long gone.

She was the kind of woman that did not like change. The kind of woman who knew what she wanted. Ignorant to the world around her. Bitter due to a marriage without love and many affairs from her husband with her knowledge. Not kind nor thankful. Sometimes some people just don't know how to love and be loved.

'By the way, Anna? Albert spoke to me about his son. You two are going to be seeing each other more from now on.' Her father raised his brow while he awaited an answer.

'Yes, Father.' Anna nodded.

'You do like him, don't you?'

'I don't dislike him...'

'Oh well, then, wonderful! Try your best to please him Anna. I would like to join our families together.'

'I know, Father. If he loses interest in me it'll be his fault not mine.' She really didn't care.

'Good. That's good.'

Mr Simon Smith was mostly sweet. A smart man with a sharp eye for business. Always busy, always tired. Too old for his age, too keen on women. Sometimes one would think he would care about his daughter's feelings more than anyone else, but behind closed doors and at the end of the day those feelings were forgotten and he would have his way no matter the cost. Anna knew this but she still loved him and he would at least pretend to care, and that was more than her mother ever could.

'Also, you are going to the factory with me tomorrow.' He said gulping on his liquor.

'Whatever for?'

'I want you to start practicing there. It'll be yours one day and you are old enough to get to know the place now. We've been teaching you for that.'

Anna nodded yes. 'Can I be excused now?'

'Of course my darling. Go on.'

She ran to her room more happy than she thought she would be. At least something interesting!

Anna was tired of staying at home sewing, making company with a speechless mother who only spoke to say no or how wrong something was. At least when Anna was the one speaking. She would be with her father all day, who she found much more interesting than her mother, and she would be able learn something new that didn't include marriage matters.

Yes, she was happy.

'I heard you are going to the factory with Master tomorrow.'

'Yes, Elsie I am! And to be honest with you I am so very excited.'

'That is good, Miss. Life without excitement isn't worth living.' Elsie said as she helped her Miss out of her dress.

'Are you saying you have an exciting life, Elsie?' Anna giggled.

'Oh Miss, you are far too young to know about my life. I was twenty one once too, you know. I wasn't born old.'

'I hope you weren't, that would be horrible.'

Anna jumped into bed and wrapped herself beneath her soft silky sheets. She looked over to her old doll afraid of the judgemental eye of her maid.

'Just don't let the Mistress see you sleeping with that horrid doll. She'll throw it away.'

'I'll get rid of it once I marry, I promise. I'll just keep it here.' She said, placing the old doll that was given to her when she was a baby beside her pillow.

Her mother had forbidden her to sleep with such a thing ever since she turned seventeen, but fours years had passed since then and Anna always managed to keep it hidden from her eyes. Mrs Smith used to say that the next one with whom she should share her bed was her husband.

'_What kind of decent Lady sleeps with a doll? Your husband will give __you_ _back to us __on_ _the wedding night if he sees that thing.' _

'Elsie…?'

'Yes, Miss?'

'Tell me one of your stories...I'm so excited about tomorrow I can barely keep my eyes shut.'

The kind maid sat down at the end of her bed, just like she had since Anna was a little child, and thought for a moment before beginning.

'So, you said it would be horrible to be born old, didn't you?' Anna nodded yes as her eyes sparkled with curiosity in the candlelight. 'Well then, let me tell you the story of a man who was born old...'

XXXXXX

Anna was not so excited when her maid opened the windows of her room to the early light of the morning. It wasn't seven yet and she was eating her breakfast with her father.

'What will I be learning today, Father?'

'Thomas will show you around the factory, so you can get to know the place.'

Thomas Barrow. One of father's workers. His job was to keep an eye out and yell at those who were being lazy. He would watch over them like a vulture, ready to strike at every weak move they made. Anna would learn later that he would often use humiliation to do his job, much more than fairness. She would also learn with time that fairness was something rare in the real world. The real world that she knew nothing about. Yet.

'You have to know all the lines of production and what workers do in each of them before learning how to run the business. You have to know the work as well as you know yourself to understand and be fair in every decision you make.'

Anna simply nodded.

XXXXXX

That morning, the road to the factory seemed longer than usual. She had a book in her hands. A compilation of love poems. A silly nonsense as her mother would call it. As she held the book against her chest she thought about everything. How the carriage stumbled against the dirt road and its stones and bumps. How long this ride was taking. She had been eleven the last time she'd visited her father at the factory. Exactly ten years ago. Maybe that was the reason. Maybe she was scared. Scared about what her future held. Maybe she didn't want to marry Charles...what was she thinking about? What did Charles have to do with the long road to the factory?

_Because you'll be learning what you'll teach to his children. _

She shook her thoughts away. She was fine with whatever her parents decided. Why was she trying to pretend she wasn't?

_Maybe you aren't. You aren't. You are pretending you are fine, but you aren't._

She looked down at her book.

_How many times have you dreamed of kissing him? How many times have you dreamed of kissing anyone at all? Do you even know what love is? How ardent a feeling can be? When your chest hurts because you miss your __beloved__..._

'Here we are!' Her father's voice interrupted her line of thought, and she was glad for that.

The cold hit her face as strong as a slap. She felt her skin clutch under the cold in a painful way and she brought one of her hands to her cheeks to feel what she couldn't feel anymore. Her hand met ice and she touched her nose with her gloved hand, but she giggled when she tried to opened her mouth to stretch her muscles.

'I know now how polar bears must feel!'

Simon didn't answer, he only rolled his eyes at her childish manners. She stopped.

'Let's go inside now before we freeze to death,' he said, and two minutes later they were meeting the inviting heat of his office.

XXXXXX

'Here's where the cotton is scrapped and then it goes into those machines,' Thomas pointed out in the distance. 'To get it lined up.'

'I see.'

Anna looked around trying to take everything in. Thomas was being as kind as he could, but she could tell how annoyed he was with her presence. Every question she asked was received by a dismissive look and a short reply. Most of the questions weren't answered in a clear way but she daren't to ask them again. Her father would know about this.

But then she was busier saying good morning to the workers herself. All of them wanted to greet the daugher of their master. They looked at her as if she were some sort of goddess descending from Heaven.

To be honest she was a bit uncomfortable with all the staring, from both men and women, even the children. _So very young to work_, she thought.

She should know why they were looking at her like that. Their muddy faces, greasy hair, and ragged clothes spoke for themselves.

The tour came to an end when Thomas said it was lunch time. Her father was doing business with new vendors, and she was left alone.

Anna grabbed her book and went outside hoping that she could find a spot to read, but as soon as she opened the wooden door she was met once again by the impossible cold. When she turned around to go back inside the heavy door closed with the strong wind, leaving half of her skirt stuck.

She tried to grab her hat from flying while trying to get her dress free from the door and in a nervous haste she let her book fall on the floor along with herself. The hat flew and she cursed. 'Blast!'

The icy wetness of the ground ate through her dress as she sat on the ice trying to stand up without succeeding. She didn't know why but tears were ready to fall from her eyes when suddenly she felt something warm against her back, pulling her up like a holy force.

'Here, Miss. Let me help you.' The voice she heard wasn't familiar but calm and steady; as steady as the arm that helped her stand. 'That was quite the tumble, Miss. Are you hurt?'

'No, I'm fine. I think the snow for once helped,' she smiled. His face was still unknown but she was already so thankful to him.

The mysterious man opened the heavy wooden door and let her dress lose. 'There you go, Miss,' he said while she adjusted her dress. 'I'm sure your maid can fix that.' She nodded yes and when she turned full of curiosity to see his face she saw him leaned down reaching for her book. He handed it to her with a smile on his face.

'Your book.'

Something about him struck her. She found herself staring just like all those people had stared at her moments before. Although this time she was not the one with a muddy face and greasy hair; she wasn't staring because he was elegant and well dressed. He was the one dirty, rough and ripped clothes, but there was something about him. His eyes were hazel, kind and bright, and his face was gentle. His voice was deep but soft, and his smile was charming. He was tall and well built, large and strong like a broken prince. _More like a warrior_, she thought. She had seen many men in such a state before but none had called her attention as much as he did.

'Your book, Miss?'

'Oh! I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking,' she said nervously. 'Thank you so much.'

'No need to thank me, just be careful next time. Here, I'll take you inside.'

XXXXXX

They walked through the factory and Anna was already lost.

'This is all so confusing.'

'It's the machinery, Miss.'

'Do you work here?'

'I do. I carry the cotton outside to the carriages. Sometimes I line it up.'

'That's interesting.' She tried to make small talk. Mother always said that you should always have a topic for conversation.

'If you say so.' He was still smiling at her, gentle and calm.

Anna nodded.

'You are the daughter of the Master, aren't you?'

'Yes, I'm Anna Smith.'

'I'll take you to your father, then.'

'And you? Who are you?'

'Bates.'

'That's it? Mr Bates?''

'For you, Miss...yes.'

XXXXXX

She was having dinner with her parents that night when she thought of him again. Maybe his act of kindness was what attracted her to him? Mother would say that such people, poor people, didn't have manners nor rules nor even kindness. Well, he had all of those. He had been kind and showed manners.

Deciding that her mother was mostly wrong about people, she excused herself from the table.

'Before you go,' her father began, 'tomorrow night Charles is coming for dinner.'

The tone in her father's voice was as obvious as a cough. 'Won't we be going to the factory?'

'We are but we'll be home early. Now go to bed, you have a long day tomorrow.'

XXXXXX

As she read her book in bed the written words were echoing in her ears. Words of love and passion. Longing. She prayed she would fall for Charles. Long for his presence in the lonely nights. Her parents slept in separate rooms, but in her books lovers slept together. She wanted that for herself. A marriage with love and respect. The respect her father never gave to her mother. She sighed and placed her book on the nightstand. When she fell asleep she dreamed of him. Mr Bates.

XXXXXX

Anna had woken up very surprised. In her dream Bates was reading with her. That was all. He spent the night reading with her. How strange could a dream be? She dressed quickly with the help of her maid, and she never hated corsets as much as she did now, and not one hour later she was in the factory.

Thomas was there and she stood by him while he watched over the workers. Yelling when a man cleaned his brow from sweat even though it was snowing outside. He yelled at a small boy because he giggled, and at a mother who helped her daughter to stand after a fall.

'Keep working you lazy beast,' he said once but shrunk back when Anna gave him a shocked glance.

'That was very rude, Mr Barrow.'

'They behave like animals don't they?'

She looked at those poor souls. They most certainly didn't. She hated Barrow and nothing would ever change her mind.

When she looked down again she saw him. The man from her dream. She excused herself and holding her book firmly in her hands she walked towards him.

'Good morning, Mr Bates.'

'Good morning, Miss.' He had seen her looking at him from the top of the landing and he knew she would come talk to him.

'I want to thank you again for yesterday.'

'There's no need, Miss. It was my pleasure to give a helping hand,' he smiled and it reached his eyes and she stared once again. 'I hope you don't go outside again...to read your poems.'

'I won't...I've learned my lesson...' she smiled. 'How do you know it's poems?'

'It says 'Poetry, A Compilation of Love Poems',' he pointed.

'You know how to read?' Anna was surprised.

'I do, Miss.' Shame painted her face because she judged him by his appearance.

'I'm sorry...mother...'

'Your mother tells you how ignorant we are?' He spit, almost bitter.

'I don't believe her though.'

'You obviously do.' He looked down focusing on the work before him.

'I just thought a working man like you didn't have time to read.'

He looked up and was surprised at how smart she was. How well she could fix an uncomfortable conversation. He couldn't help but smile.

'And I don't...but at least I learned how to.'

'What books do you own?'

'I own nothing but my family, Miss.'

They stayed in silence for a moment taking in what he had just said. She felt sorry for him but he was glad he was honest with her.

'I see you are lining today...doing extra work?' she broke the silence.

'It has to be done,' he said working his strong hands through the cotton lines.

'Of course. So you can support your family.' He nodded in acknowledgement. 'Does your wife work here?'

'No...not anymore. I am a widower.'

'I am sorry… I didn't know.'

'Of course you didn't.'

The silence prevailed for a moment more before she spoke again. 'Do you have children then?'

'I have a small boy.'

'Oh! It must be difficult for a man to raise his child alone.'

'Yes. It is,' he sighed.

'How old is your boy?'

He looked at her again, with an amused look on his face. How ever so curious this young woman was. He saw nothing but kindness in her eyes and interest, legitimate interest and no malice. It wouldn't harm if he told her.

'Five.' He looked around. 'See the lad there, that's him. William.'

He pointed out a boy who was picking cotton from the floor. His clothes were worn out, his trousers were ripped at the knees. He had his father's face, round and chubby, and his smile as his small hands patted the floor after the white material.

'He's so young to be working.'

'Our children are never too young to work, Miss.'

What reality was this that she didn't know about? 'Children should go to school and stay home with their mothers.'

'He earns one pence to pick up as much cotton as he can, with that pence he helps me to buy bread for my house, besides...if his mother was alive she would be working here so he couldn't stay home alone.'

He looked at her with a serious look on his face. Not mean, nor rude, just serious. Serious about their condition. Anna didn't say another word.

'Anna! There you are. It's time to go,' her father called to her.

She nodded yes. 'It was nice to talk to you, Mr Bates.'

'See you tomorrow, Miss.'

'Yes.' She smiled when he looked away and a second later she was gone.

'Why were you talking to Bates?'

'I was...asking him if he could explain what he was doing. I want to know. As you said, you should know the work as best as you know yourself.'

'I am glad to see you are interested, Anna. It's very good. This is our business and you should care for it.'

She nodded with a smile and no guilt.

XXXXXX

Dinner went well, as appearances often did. Anna pretended she was pleased, her parents pretended to be happy. Charles told her how beautiful she looked in green and that he liked a woman who was interested in the family business. Anna nodded and thanked him.

He was well dressed, with his blond hair rolled back and loads of perfume all over his jacket. She noticed how nice his skin looked in the candlelight and how his smile was beautiful but didn't reach his eyes. He asked her what she liked to do, and she said reading. He laughed but when she didn't join him he stopped, apologetic. He didn't like to read. He liked to play cards and chess, ride in good weather, and dance. He liked parties and piano concerts, and helping his father with the factory.

'I'm a lawyer now so I help him with legal papers and things like that. Are you enjoying helping your father in the factory?'

'I just stand there watching those poor souls work. Father thinks I'm helping him that way.'

'You should tell him what you feel. Honesty is always the key.'

_I don't want to marry you. _'Thank you for your advice Charles.'

They chatted for over an hour, about this and that. The weather, the news, business. When he left Anna felt free. Until her father told her something she was not expecting to happen so soon.

'Albert spoke to me, and next Sunday Charles will be asking for your hand.'

She felt her face grow hot, boiling. She nodded. 'As you wish, father, may I go now?'

After his permission she went to her room, fell into bed, and cried. She held her book to her chest tightly.

'_Will I ever fall in love without having to?' _She wished for that more than anything, but she knew now it wouldn't be possible.

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><p><em><strong>AN:** Thanks for reading! Next chapter Anna will be engaged and not very happy about it, and we'll know more about Bates family._

_Please review :)_


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N:**_Hello my friends, here it is chapter 2! I hope you enjoy it and sorry for the delay.

_**Disclaimer:**_ Same as chapter 1.

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><p>Anna could hardly get herself out of bed on that Monday morning. She was engaged. Mr Johnson and Charles had been there last night and he had proposed to her. Her father said yes for her as her heart denied it. He had kissed her on the corner of her mouth when they were left alone for a couple of minutes, and she felt nothing but sadness. Her night had been spent crying and reading. Trying to imagine herself in another world... But she couldn't. Her life was too real and now she understood why her mother, so many years ago, had to be dragged to the altar. Anna just never believed it would happen to her, even though she tried to pretend she was ready for an arranged marriage, she now was sure she wasn't. She never had been and she never would be.<p>

Today the wind had shown some mercy and she found herself outside in the freezing cold. She needed some fresh air, even though the air was way too cold for her nose and lungs. She didn't mind. She couldn't feel her soul all that well either way.

His voice struck her through the density of the icy mass. 'I thought you had learned your lesson, Miss.' His smile was warm like a blanket in the middle of a very cold night, and she felt comfortably better with the sound of it.

'Last night's events made me forget about my lesson, Mr Bates.'

He stared at her for a moment and saw how her small smile turned into sadness, even despair.

'Why is such beautiful girl like you so downcast?'

She smiled again at his words, but she didn't know how real they were for him. When she was ready to deceive him about her own troubles her burning eyes gave her away. She had him like her friend, even though she'd only known him for a week, but there was something about him that made her feel at home. Safe. It was when her lip trembled and she pouted that his eyes widened and he approached her. He placed his index finger under her chin and lifted her head gently, in what he later believed to be an impulsive act that never should have happened. 'Miss?' He wouldn't think that for long.

Anna was lost. She fell into his arms, just in the same spot she had fallen into his catch the first time. In the same spot that her book had lain on the floor and she had met him.

His chest was inviting. The heat of his body was transferred to hers as she cried with her head over his heart. She could hear it pounding like a wild beast but she didn't care. For a moment he didn't know what to do. He looked around and saw no one, but what if someone came and saw them in this state? She was a Lady and he worked for her father. This would ruin her for sure, but as he felt her grasp tighten on his shirt, slowly he forgot about the world around them and brought his hands to her back, wrapping his arms around her and rocking her like an infant.

'What happened Miss?' he was worried.

'I am engaged,' she said between sobs. 'I am to marry the son of one of my father's partners.'

John heard it, and he didn't know why but he didn't like the sound of it. Why should he care? But he cared.

'I don't want to!' she said, breaking the embrace just enough to face him. 'I don't love him.'

Without thinking, John cleaned her tears from her cheeks with his thumbs but as soon as he did it he composed himself.

'Miss, please.' He brought his hands up to the air, telling her she should let go of him.

'I'm sorry, Mr Bates,' she sniffed.

'I wish I could help you, Miss.' He said straightening his old jacket. 'But...maybe if you reach your father's heart.'

'Actually, it's not my father I fear, but my mother. She's been telling me for as long as I can remember that I was raised to marry a proper gentleman, ' Anna rolled her eyes, 'and to continue to work on the family business.'

'Do you know him?'

'Mr Bates...' She took a deep breath. 'I've known him since I was little, but I don't know him at all.'

John nodded, he knew exactly what she meant. 'Well, Miss, listen...you are a Lady, a fine one, any man would fall at your feet, and I'm sure this fiancée of yours likes you. Maybe...maybe you both can build a happy life together. People learn how to love, you wouldn't be the first.' His advice was hurting him in ways he couldn't even comprehend.

'You are embellishing the term 'used to each other' aren't you?'

He sighed. She was too smart for her age. Young women like her were way more naive, she should be like that too. At least she wouldn't suffer as much, not yet.

'I don't want that. I want to fall in love naturally. Is that silly of me?'

'No, Miss. Not silly at all.'

'And you know what's worse? This is just my stubbornness. Until a few days ago, I was fine with the idea of marrying him but now that this is real...now that I should be fine with it I am not.'

'Battles are not to be fought before the enemy is in sight, Miss.'

Anna laughed and looked at him with a raised brow. 'Are you saying that my fiancée is an enemy, Mr Bates?' she cleaned more tears away from her eyes.

'Before you know what will happen for sure, Miss,' he smiled.

'I understand. Thank you, Mr Bates. It's always nice to talk to you. You have a way with words.'

'I have to tell you, Miss, no Lady has ever said such thing to me before. Thank you.'

She smiled before going inside. Her bones were already aching from the cold and even though she felt warm around him she knew she would be ill if she stayed for long. 'Thank you,' she said looking at him one more time.

John stayed there for a minute longer. His chest still warm from her embrace, his heart still racing, her smell still invading all his senses. He closed his eyes and touched his own hands. The softness of her cheeks had been surprising, incredibly silky like. The perfection of her pale skin almost overwhelming. He didn't want the feeling of her in his hands to go away, so he stayed there before going inside and spoiling her softness with the hard cold metal of the cotton machines... but before he could allow himself a minute more, he rubbed his hands against his dirty clothes. No! He had no right to prolong her purity against his stained hard hands.

Since he saw her for the first time, when he helped her, he had gone soft for her. He'd known her since she was a baby, but now that she was a woman he had forgotten about the time her mother would visit her father with a little Miss Smith in her arms.

Yes, he battled himself inside his mind. _What are you doing, John? Why do you feel this way? What power does the sight of her have __over_ _you that you let your weakness overpower your sense?_

John had always been a respectable man. A man that knew his place, his mind, but at the moment he only knew that he cared for this girl more than he should. More than he liked.

That night, when he arrived home and undressed, cautiously, he smelled his shirt. It still smelled of roses and of the tears she had shed there. He dared himself to imagine her in his arms for a little longer, but was awakened from his dream when he heard the children running around the house.

He dressed in his night clothes quickly before meeting his sister by the fireplace. He smiled at her as she fed her baby, and as the little boys and girl played together. He wouldn't allow himself to dream of the impossible like a silly boy. He had his family to think about. Anna Smith was like a doll in a fancy storefront; only to been seen, not to be touched.

'You must be tired, brother, and hungry. Sit and eat.'

'I ate some soup before finishing work.'

'John, you need to eat. A built man like you needs sustenance.'

'I am alright Mary, don't worry.' he smiled.

The dark haired woman nodded and watched as her little baby girl nursed on her breast. Mary had long black hair tied in a bun on the top of her head. Her eyes were dark and her skin pale, she was tall but as opposite of her older brother she was lean.

'You know...the Master's daughter is engaged.'

'Anna Smith?' Mary inquired.

'Yes, the two of you used to play when she visited her father in the factory, remember?'

'Vaguely, yes. Well, she must be marrying a gentleman. One as rich as her father.'

'She's not happy about it though.'

'How do you know?' Mary was confused. How did her brother know about the Miss' feelings and affairs?

'She told me.' She raised her brow. 'I helped her the other day, and well...we talk sometimes, and today she told me that. She fell into my arms crying.'

Mary's eyes widened at her brother's words. She adjusted the baby and her dress. 'Why?'

'Well, she found comfort in me, I guess. She was crying and I found her, and she doesn't see any difference between us or any other rich man. She's a very sensitive young girl.'

'Arent' they all?' she smiled. 'But John, if someone saw you...you would be sacked! You know that.'

'I felt sorry for her. Don't know why really.' For her and for him, but yes, he didn't know why, not yet. And if he knew he didn't care, he couldn't care.

Mary saw her brother's worry. He'd always been a good man. A man who cared for others more than he did for himself. This wasn't unusual at all, but something told her this was not one more act of kindness from his part. She saw it in his eyes.

'John, she may have the world laid at her feet, but without love not even a King can find happiness.'

He sighed. Mary was right.

'Uncle, a story!' Elsa begged as she grabbed his leg with all the strength she had.

'Please, please, please...' Two boys joined her, his own son and his sister's eldest child, George, and John could only smile.

'When have I ever failed to tell you all a story before bed?' he took the girl in his arms and kissed her cheek. 'Come on then, all of you.'

XXXXXX

Three months passed and Anna found herself thinking that time had tricked her. She was engaged now, and soon she would be a wife. One night she had tried to tell her mother that maybe they should wait a little longer, but for her mother the sooner she was married and bearing children of her own the better. Anna was nervous. Afraid. Her mother was no person to be contradicted.

Charles visited her every Sunday and Monday to court. A courtship which consisted of sitting by the fire, each on a chair, talking about their day and their future. No more kisses were shared. She would move to his house, he would work hard, but her maid wouldn't come.

'_But, Elsie...she's __more like a mother to me than a maid__.'_

_'I have maids, Anna, you'll chose the one you like the most. Maybe one your age so you can both talk? You won't feel so lonely.'_

No. She didn't want anyone but Elsie. She had to hold her tears in that moment, but little did she know that she had many more tears to hold.

XXXXXX

Anna had been thinking about the last months as she sat on a crate outside the factory, away from prying eyes, eating a piece of bread and cheese that she had picked from her father's office. He always had food there as he would pass the whole day locked within those walls. So many things had happened. More than she could have ever imagined. Her life had changed drastically, but she was not happier.

If her mother saw her now she would tell her off for sure. Sitting on a crate eating bread and cheese! Anna giggled to herself. Her mind was miles away from her body, and the place she was in, when suddenly she felt someone looking at her. She looked around for a moment before seeing him, the little boy peeking behind a crate that was much taller than him.

'Hello.' She let him know she was aware of his presence. 'Come here.' As the boy, all so shy and crestfallen, approached her she recognised him. 'William?'

'Yes, Miss.'

'What are you doing there?'

The boy shrugged his shoulders.

'Are you hiding?'

He nodded yes.

'From who?'

'Mr Barrow, Miss.' The words almost too difficult for him to pronounce. He came nearer to her, and with a sad face he showed her his pockets. 'I stole cotton, Miss.'

'William, that is wrong. Why did you do that?'

The boy didn't know. He just did. 'Pa will be angry.'

'Oh, yes he will. I'm sure your father teaches you better than that, doesn't he?'

William nodded and a tear fell down his chubby cheek.

'Oh no, don't cry.' Anna jumped from the crate and kneeled before the dark haired boy. 'Come here.' she patted his hair and kissed his forehead. The boy was dirty, his tears were drawn on his brownish cheeks but he smelled of nothing but virgin cotton. She cleaned his tears away with the white handkerchief she always carried, and soon it was no longer white.

'Here, give me the cotton. Now, you won't do it ever again, else I'll be forced to tell you father. Alright?'

The little boy brought his chubby baby like fists up and rubbed his tears from his eyes before nodding.

Anna looked back and saw that she had placed the bread over the crate. Standing up she grabbed it before asking him if he wanted some. In an instant as if he already knew what she was going to ask, he nodded his head with shining eyes. She gave him a piece and upon seeing him devouring it as if he were a starving lion she gave him the rest.

She stared at him until he was finished and was shocked at the image before her. The tears started burning as realisation struck her like lightning.

Suddenly they heard footsteps, heavy and slow but not at all intimidating.

'Hello, Miss.' he said with a smile in his eyes. 'I see William is bothering you.'

'He's not, Mr Bates. I was enjoying chatting with him.'

John smiled but his eyes gave away his irony. 'And were you also enjoying hiding what he did?'

She raised her brow in surprise and felt much like she was the one who had stolen the cotton.

'I'm sorry, Mr Bates. I just didn't want him to be in trouble. He knew he did wrong.'

'And still.. he did it.'

The boy was looking at his feet, his belly already full, his lungs empty.

'Son. Why did you do that?' John touched his head gently and she was glad for that.

William gulped. 'To sell.'

'To sell?'

'So...so, we...to buy food.'

John sighed. 'Son, stealing is wrong. It's better to starve with honour than feast in shame. Do you understand?'

The boy nodded.

'What's 'feast'?' he asked after a second.

'It's a great amount of food.'

He didn't know what it was, both because it was a new word but also because the only great amount of anything he had ever seen was poverty.

'I heard you and aunty...'

'You are far too young to pay attention to what we say. Understand?' William nodded.

John took the boy in his arms, a boy already too big to be held. 'Thank you for the bread, Miss.'

'It was my pleasure. You won't punish him will you?'

The boy looked at his father with wide eyes, asking him with a scared look on his face if indeed he was waiting for a punishment. 'He already had his punishment, Miss.'

Then he walked away, with his son's arms wrapped around his neck.

'I like the Miss.' William said when she was out of their sight.

'I like the Miss too, son.'

XXXXXX

Only three months had passed and Anna loved being at the factory. She didn't find anything to do really, but she liked it either way. In the morning her father would show her some papers and how he kept the work in check but after lunch she was on her own.

She would talk to the people, and laugh with the children, always under the attentive eye of Thomas.

Coming to the factory was the highlight of her days. In fact, speaking to Mr Bates and listening to what he had to say about the world was why she liked it so. He had a way with words. A gentle way. A way she never thought would exist. He told her about his sister; a widow with three children of her own, George, Elsa and Sara. He told her about how her husband had died with a cough two months before baby Sara had been born. His sister had played with her when they were children but Anna didn't remember. He loved his family, and everyone could see that in the way he spoke about every single one of them.

Anna once asked about his wife and he only said that she had died in childbirth, no more words were spoken in that day after his answer.

People trusted her, they thought she was different; that her heart was bigger than her petite figured showed. And with trust came secrets, and soon she discovered that they were planning a protest and maybe also a strike. What she didn't know was who was behind these ideas. She talked to him everyday, but she had no clue.

XXXXXX

'How was today?'

'Can you imagine?'

'John. It's dangerous. What if the master sacks you?'

'Mary, I have to fight for what I believe. Look at your children. Don't you want a better life? For their sake?'

She looked down at the baby in her arms and she whispered yes.

'Well?'

'But if they sack you, it'll just get worse!''

'I have to try, Mary. Please. Trust me.'

'Mrs Manning said she would watch over the baby so I can get back to work.'

'None of that Mary. She's still too small and...I've heard you coughing a lot lately.'

'It's just a cold.'

'Your late husband said the same.'

They stayed in silence.

'Alright, I'll stay for another month.' Mary agreed breaking the awkward silence between them.

'Thank you.'

'How's the Miss?'

He looked at his sister from the corner of his eyes.'She's well.' he said slowly.

'Have you been talking to her?'

'Yes, we talk.' Why was Mary asking about her now? He was trying to not think about her. He failed, but he tried.

But Mary knew her brother better than she knew herself. 'William says she looks like a princess.'

'She does.' he smiled for a moment before realizing that he was giving himself away. 'Well...she's a lady.'

'But not like... every lady.'

'No. She's nicer. She's humble. Knows her mind.'

'And you like her.' she giggled.

'Of course I do!' he said unimpressed. 'She's nice and she's a clever girl. Why wouldn't I like her?'

'Oh John!'

'What?'

'You are far too old for a crush.'

'Mary, you are a mother! You shouldn't be so silly.'

'William told me you smile more when she's near you.'

'William!' he gave his son a pointed look. 'How many times must I tell you, you shouldn't pay attention to the things I say and do?!'

'But, aunty asked.' the boy stopped a game of hide and seek to answer his father.

He looked at his sister and rolled his eyes before kissing the top of her head and wishing them goodnight.

XXXXXXX

He dreamed of her that night. Her hair was loose and she was wearing a green dress. They were by some river and the wind was blowing on her golden locks, making them look like blonde waves as vast and as beautiful as the sea. Her eyes were bluer than he had ever seen them and clear as the sky in a Summer afternoon. She smelled of roses like she usually did and her hands were soft on his. He woke up in a sweat, after their kiss, and he could swear the house smelled of her as if she had been there for real.

He cursed himself and sat up on his old mattress. He hated himself in that moment. How could he take such liberty in dreaming of her? He was twenty years older than her. He remembered her from when she was just a baby. This was wrong. She was a young lady, ready to marry a man she deserved, even though she didn't like him...she would learn how to. She had to. And here he was, an old mill worker with no money to buy one bean, dreaming of her in such ungracious way.

He brought his hands to his face, covering his eyes and sighing in his palms. His chest started to ache desperately and his heart raced like a wild horse. _What was this?_ He asked to himself. Even when his wife died his heart had been more contained.

'Oh God...' he whispered to an entity he didn't believe existed. He loved her.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Next Chapter: <strong>Anna and Bates say their goodbyes after a protest breaks in the factory. But surely fate won't allow them to be apart for long. _

Thank you for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**_A/N:_** Good evening everyone :) Thank you all so much for your follows, faves and reviews! I love to read every single one of them, and I'm so happy that you are enjoying this fic. It means a lot to me. Hope you enjoy this chapter.

**_Disclaimer:_** Same as chapter 1 and 2.

* * *

><p>It only got more difficult after that dream, for that was just the first of many. With every glimpse and shared word, he fell more and more deeply into the dead end of the path of love.<p>

John tried to avoid her many times, but whenever he did, he saw in her face that she knew what he was doing, and the hurt and disappointment in her eyes made it so much worse for him. They still talked, sometimes, and with every conversation they shared she grew fonder of him. Somehow that tall and rough man touched her soul like no other human being before him. His appearance so different from his existence. She felt a connection, they both did, and although it was strange, for it couldn't exist two more different people, when they were together everything made sense. Maybe their differences were just in the amount of money and status they had. Maybe their spirits had more in common than a shared smile at the precise time. Maybe they were made with the same substance in a different time and place, and that was the beginning of their troubles. Time and place.

XXXXXX

One Thursday, two months later, the long awaited protest broke. A verbal fight. Every worker joined in the shouting for their rights. Strong words were exchanged between the poor and keepers until Mr Smith had to intervene.

'This is one of the things you have to learn how to deal with. Those people love to make a fuss about what can't be changed,' her father told her, but she wasn't sure what the fuss was about and what couldn't be changed. Her mother always told her that only death was certain and unchangeable. But then what her mother told her were most of the times empty words to shut her up from thinking for herself.

The loud voices ceased when her father appeared at the top of the landing. 'What's this about?'

'Our children are hungry!' One of the men shouted. Anna tried to find Mr Bates in the middle of the crowd but she failed to see him. He wasn't there, not physically, but the words spoken were injected by his ideals. Anna didn't know this yet, but her father did.

She was trying to listen to what they were saying from her father's office window but most of what she heard were loose words. 'Money. Hunger. Family.' were the words that she could understand. Tempers were tense all day after that, and she waited in the office until it was time to go home.

That night her father was quiet. He excused himself from dinner and went to bed earlier.

'Those beasts will kill your father one day, mark my words. I'll talk to him tomorrow...I think you should stay home with me instead.'

'But mother...' Anna didn't even know what to think. Why was her mother always trying to take the excitement out of her life? Anna knew this would happen sooner rather than later. She had noticed her mother's glances and twists of nose whenever Anna mentioned how much she liked going there.

'Don't you 'but mother' me, young lady. You are going to get married soon and your place will be at home waiting for your husband. You've learned your share about the business already, and it's getting dangerous.'

'I like going to the factory. I've even made friends!'

'Friends? With whom? Don't tell me you befriended those people, did you?'

Anna looked down, her mother knew the answer. 'You can't trust them, Anna! They have no moral and dignity whatsoever! What do you do with the things I tell you? Throw them away as if they mean nothing?

Mrs Smith huffed when she failed a stitch on her embroidery.

'But you see, I don't agree with you. I like to talk with them. And they always have lessons to share... always trying to have a better life, that's why they want to start a strike.'

'A strike? Does your father know that?'

Anna shrunk in her seat, aware of her mistake. 'He has an idea.'

'Oh god! How lazy can those people get?!'

'They are not lazy, mother. They work hard for the little they earn. It's unfair.'

Mrs Smith looked at her with wide eyes and a mad look on her face.

'Already talking like one of them?! You know what is unfair? I'll tell you. That they are not thankful to your father. Your father gives them a job, gives a job to their wives and children and you know what they do? They spend the money on nonsense instead. That's why they don't have money. Oh Alas! See! I've ruined it.' She looked down at her piece of embroidery. 'You and your talking Anna Smith...thank God you are getting married soon. I can't even be at peace anymore.'

Anna looked at her mother's work and all she could see was arrogance and selfishness. How could a failed stitch be more important than people's rights? Children starving? Love? She nodded and excused herself. Her mother told her to go and sleep and tell her _friends_ goodbye in the morning because it would be the last day she would go.

XXXXXX

'I am sorry, Miss, but your mother is right.'

'Elsie, please.'

'They can be dangerous.'

'Elsie! You worked at the factory before. You were one of them. How can you talk like that?' She was mad but her raised voice didn't scare her maid.

'Because I was one of them, I know.'

Anna looked at her for a moment through the mirror while Elsie brushed her long blonde hair. She shook her head and opened her book in her lap reading one of the poems to pass the time. But she couldn't read it. Her thoughts were wild in her mind and she couldn't concentrate on anything.

'Mr Bates has been avoiding me.'

'Who?'

'Mr Bates, Elsie. The man I told you about.' Elsie knew all too well who he was.

'Maybe that's for the better.'

'Why?'

Her maid looked her in the eyes before telling her he was the most dangerous of them all.

'What do you know about him that I don't?'

'You tell me, Miss...what do you know about yourself, your feelings, that I don't?'

'I don't understand.'

'Since you were old enough to read, you've been with your nose in all sort of books...and you are telling me you don't understand?'

The flushed skin. The hot red cheeks. The racing of the heart. The staring, smiling, blushing. The need of being close to someone without a conceivable reason. Being unable to focus on anything because the mind wanders always in the same direction...him. Anna shook her head and Elsie smiled.

'It'll be better for everyone. He's dangerous for you. Now get in bed and sleep, Miss.'

She did sleep. Her book laid on the ground, wet, dirty, ripped and she was trying to put it in one piece. She could hear her mother's voice in the distance, but she couldn't quite grasp what she was saying... and then when she looked up she saw him, smiling, tall and proud. He kneeled before her and took the book in his hands, and before she knew it the book was in one piece again. The sun shone into her face and the morning had come.

XXXXXX

'I don't really think it's dangerous Anna, but your mother...you know how she is.' Her father told her on their way to the factory the next morning. 'They would never hurt you, even if they hurt me. They like you.'

Anna sat in silence while the carriage swang along the road.

'That Bates.' Her father closed his fist and hit it on his thigh. 'If only that man could be quiet. I'll have to sack him if he keeps talking too much.'

'What did he do?' Anna was scared.

'He's the one who stirs with their brain. You've talked to him before. You know how easy he is with words. They believe him and like to hear him speak.'

Easy with words. Yes, that was him. Always so polite and proper. Never spoke too much unless it was needed. She liked that about him. His honesty. He was so quiet most of the time, at least with her, and she found him almost mysterious. The way he looked at everything with an attentive look. The way that he took in every detail. The way he looked at her from afar, and the way he diverted his eyes when she caught him. His smile. His strong hands working their way through the cotton and the cold metal of the machinery, already so skilled. She sometimes wondered how old he was…

'How old is he, father?'

'Who? Bates? He's forty I think. He's worked for our family since he was a boy. I remember him when I was a boy myself, picking up cotton from the floor. He's been always a dangerous fellow….Oh! We are here.'

John Bates was dangerous because he believed in rights for the weak and poor, and because she liked him. Her heart was his and even though she never meant it, she had given it to him, with thoughts and dreams and pure loyalty.

XXXXXX

'Good afternoon, Miss.' John said slowly, trying not to look surprised or happy by her presence, but he had no control over his racing heart, so alive and bewitched at the first glimpse of her.

'Good afternoon, Mr Bates,' she sighed 'I've came to say goodbye.'

'Goodbye?' His question was too immediate for his liking. He tried to compose himself. 'Why?'

'This will be my last day here. Mother doesn't want me to come anymore...because of what happened yesterday.'

'I see.' He focused on his task, working his long fingers through the cotton.

'I know you are their leader.' Her hands were behind her back as she tried to question him.

'I'm no leader for there's no army, Miss. We only want justice.'

'Mother said... you spend your money wrong.' She knew it wasn't true. She knew this would stir him...that was her intention. Anna wanted to hear him herself.

'Your Mother says that because she doesn't know how much twelve pence are. Do you? What can you buy with twelve pence, Miss?'

'I don't know.' Her eyes dropped to his feet and she felt ashamed.

'I'll tell you.' He stopped what he was doing and faced her. 'You couldn't buy half the hem of your dress. You couldn't even buy one button of those. You can buy bread and make a soup that has to last at least one week.'

'I'm sorry.'

'You say sorry but you don't really know how hard it is to support a family. You'll never know that. You'll marry a business lad who will inherit factories and money, and you'll never have to worry with anything but going to church on Sunday's. You'll have a nanny for your children and you'll only see them at tea time. You and people like you are born with all amenities and then you say sorry and pity us while our babies die of hunger. We don't want your pity, Miss. We want a better life. We are no less people than you. Our only sin was being born poor.'

They stayed in silence and John hated himself for a moment. He had no right to talk like that, not to her. It wasn't her fault things were this way.

And she hated that he was right. That he voiced his reason with such respect and politeness. That her life would be performed not lived. That she would marry and pretend to love, have children for others to raise. She would go to church every Sunday and pray for a life that would never be hers. He was right about that, but...her feelings were way different than her promised future. So she told him.

'I had a brother. He died when he was three. You must know that. Sudden death I think. I was ten and...I was very sad. Father was devastated, you know...for people like us, sons are very important to keep the name of the family. That's why I'm here, I'm my father's only hope.'

He just stared at her.

'We may have a better life than you, but that doesn't mean we are not humans, that we don't suffer misery. Not the same kind, yes, but we do. And I'm not like my mother, Mr Bates. I've been coming here for almost half a year, and honestly I've seen nothing but kindness and good hearts in these people. That goes against everything my mother ever taught me.'

John knew that too well. He was proud of the person she was. 'I am sorry, Miss. I shouldn't have...'

'Don't!' She brought her hand up. 'We are even now. From now on we'll only trade fair words.'

'You have a heart as big as the world... you'll be a much better master than your father, without offense.'

'I won't.' She smiled sadly. 'I'll be at home waiting for my husband. Not here.'

His heart shrunk in his chest. 'Husband's do what the wives tell them to.'

Anna laughed. 'A husband like you maybe, not a husband like my future one. He already took my maid away.' She sighed.

'Your maid? Mrs Hughes?'

'Yes, you know her?'

'I do. She used to work here. I remember her...'

'She's been my maid since I was a baby.'

He nodded. He remembered her leaving the factory to work as a nanny for the baby. He remembered that and the story that no one spoke about, that everyone chose to forget. He knew about it too well.

'He said he'll find a younger maid, one that's my age so I don't feel too lonely, but honestly, Elsie is a wonderful company to me, even though she's older. She's like a mother and a sister to me.'

John felt sorry for her. 'Maybe one day he'll give in.'

She shook her head. 'I think it's Mother's doing...she doesn't really like that I keep my secrets with Elsie...well…I have to go. Goodbye, Mr Bates. I hope we see each other soon.' Anna smiled but her red eyes gave her sadness away, as they often did.

'Goodbye, Miss. I hope that too.' His voice was low, almost whispering. He didn't want to say goodbye. He had to look down so he wouldn't give away his disappointment, but when he looked up at her again she was leaning towards him, and before he knew it her lips were on his cheek. He froze as he felt the softness of her warm lips against his scratchy skin. Letting himself close his eyes for a moment he rejoiced in the so tender and intimate feeling of her so close to him, and when he opened them again she was already leaving and looking back at him only once. She was far but he saw her wet eyes, and he could still feel the warmth of her kiss. He touched his cheek and dragged his hand down to his chin until it dropped completely. His eyes were just like hers now, but he dare not shed a tear. He just couldn't, it wasn't right.

'Pa?'

John looked down and saw his son staring at him. 'What's the matter, lad?'

'Are we sleeping here tonight?'

Giggling he patted his son's dark hair, enough to mess it up just a little. 'No, son. Let's go home.'

XXXXXX

When he arrived home, the sun was down and candlelights could be seen inside of every house. During Summer, when the sky was clear, the moon and the stars always helped, and as June made it's presence known with longer and warmer days John's heart was still cold. Cold as winter, but not for lack of one to love. Far from that, worse than that. Cold because he loved someone whom he could never have.

He took his coat and his hat off, and hung them on one of the chairs. His sister was feeding her children and soon William joined them.

'Here, sit down, I made fresh soup.'

He tried to refuse but she wasn't having it tonight. 'We won't be any poorer if you eat a bowl.'

John nodded. 'But I keep telling you, I have a good lunch every day and I always eat before finishing work.'

'Well, it won't hurt if you walk around working hard well fed, am I wrong?' She wasn't.

Slowly and silently, he ate his soup. The children laughed around him trying to be funny, telling stories, being children but John was not paying attention to them.

Even when little Sarah cried from her little basket on the floor, he didn't took his eyes from his bowl.

After Mary tended to the baby and while the children were all playing together, she sat next to him circling his left arm with hers.

'So tell me, brother, why are so so quiet tonight? Troubles with the master?'

He looked at her for a moment before looking back at his empty bowl. 'No,' he sighed smiling. 'I don't think I would be as affected by the master.'

'Oh John, tell me. You are making me worry.'

'There's nothing to worry about, really. It's just… Anna ...Miss Smith, will wed in two months and she won't be going to the factory anymore...I just want her to be happy, but I don't think she will be and that's making me think.'

'John.' Mary shook her head.

'What?'

'If the Miss will be unhappy, there's nothing you can do. That's none of your business.'

'I wonder if there is.'

'Why are you taking such an interest in that girl's affairs?'

'I care for her. She's nice. She deserves to be happy. A dreamer like her, with the beautiful feelings she has in her heart, she deserves more than being sad for the rest of her life.'

'Once she has her own children she'll live for them. She'll be alright.'

'Her mother had her and she was never happy.'

'How do you know about her mother?'

'She told me.'

'So...you don't just talk sometimes….'

He said nothing.

'You should forget her.'

'Forget her? What do you mean?' He looked at Mary trying to deceive her with a surprised look.

'You like her far too much for your own good.'

'Mary, you don't understand. I like her just...the way I like you. I would want you to be happy, always, and that's what I want for her.' He was lying.

'I hope it's just that. I don't want you to suffer for someone you can never have.'

'I don't know what you mean by that...I don't even want to know...'

'Yes you do. All I know is that you've been alone for far too long. A man like you.. maybe you should marry again.'

'Marry? Ah! Mary, don't be silly. Who would marry me?'

'Not Anna Smith.' She giggled.

He took offense this time and stood up abruptly. 'Mind your own children and your own thoughts and leave me alone. Now I'm going to bed, it's late.'

Mary looked up at him in shock. Her brother had never raised his voice to her. The children fell silent and stared at him as he made his way to his mattress on the floor.

'Come on, children. Let's get ready to sleep.' Mary said as she took her baby from her cot to rock her. She was now sure that Miss Smith was something far more serious than she thought.

XXXXXX

He dreamed of her again, and she dreamed of him. Very different dreams with the same meaning. They would miss each other terribly, but not for very long.

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><p><em><strong>Next chapter:<strong> Everything is settled for Anna's wedding, and there's only two weeks left until the big day, but Charles' improper manners towards his bride will change the course of their everyone's future. _

Thank you for reading :)


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N:** Good evening everyone :) I hope you enjoy this chapter and please keep telling me if you are enjoying this story! It is so fun to write so I hope it's equally fun to read. Have a good week!_

_**Disclaimer:** Same as chapter 1 - 3._

* * *

><p>'Stop with that long face of yours, Anna. You are trying on your wedding dress not being fitted for your coffin!'<p>

Anna rolled her eyes. 'Were you happy when you tried your wedding dress, Mother?'

Her mother shot her a pointed look. 'I didn't know your father at all when we got married. I had only seen him twice in all my life. Now you and Charles have known each other for years!'

'You say that as if it made any difference,' Anna whispered.

'Look at this Elsie! Talking back to her mother as if I were her undertaker.'

The dress was awfully long and tight. She hated it. More for what it symbolised really. It was a business dress. The bag her parents were trading for success and power, and inside of that bag was her. Lost, sad, alone. She almost felt like a slave. And that's what she was, a slave to her position.

She was going to wed in less than two weeks and she already felt stuck in a life that wasn't her own.

Charles was a nice man but she didn't love him. She tried, she truly tried but she couldn't love him. Not while John Bates was still very much alive in her head and heart.

When she arrived home after their goodbyes over a month ago she promised herself she would forget him. She told everything to Elsie.

_'I admire him so much.'_

_'That's why I said he was dangerous, Miss. Because you do admire him. He has your heart and that's the most terrible thing a man can have from a woman. When a man has a woman's heart he has her soul, every piece of her. It's good in books but in real life when you give your heart to someone you should not, it's terrible.'_

_'I didn't give him my heart, Elsie. He doesn't know I like him that way, and we are just friends.'_

_'He doesn't know but you do. Listen, you better forget him at once. Thinking of him as dead is better than thinking of him as a friend.'_

_'Dead? I can't think he's dead!'_

_'It's for the best, child. Bury him deep and never talk of him again. It's for your own good. You are going to marry Mr Charles, a man your age, handsome, proper, a gentleman. You should be happy.'_

_'I know.'_

_'John Bates could almost be your father! He's much older than you and he has a son. A son and a dead wife.'_

_'Well, she's dead.'_

_'Forget him, Miss. For your own good.'_

And she promised she would but it was a promise she could not keep. True, she didn't give him her heart, he took it from her in that moment she first laid eyes on him. By surprise, without a clue, he took it and he could not give it back to her.

XXXXXX

The silence fell in the factory and Thomas looked up at the big clock on the wall. Six fifty.

'Bastards,' he said between clenched teeth.

The workers left, one by one, slowly, looking down at their feet. Their fear almost palpable, their eyes lost and shamed.

'Mr Smith! They are leaving, Mr Smith! It's a strike!'

'What?' The older man stood up from his chair.

'There's still ten minutes to go and the machines are all stopped. What do you want me to do, Sir?'

'Nothing, Thomas.' Mr Smith breathed in. 'Not today...tomorrow,' he thought for a moment, frowning. 'I want you to bring John Bates to my office tomorrow.'

Thomas smiled viciously. 'It'll be my pleasure.'

XXXXXX

'I've had my fill of you, Bates,' spoke Mr Smith, raising his chin as he stared out the window. 'Since you were nothing but a boy picking up cotton from the floor...I remember my late father saying that you would be trouble when you became a man...well, he was more than right!'

John listened attentively to his words.

'You look so much like your father Bates...but you are far more clever than he ever was.'

'As are you, Sir. You are much wiser than your own father. Fairer employer too,' John said honestly.

'So why do you keep pushing your limits, man?' Mr Smith slammed his fist on his desktop.

'Because, even though you are a fairer man than him, our children still cry in need of food. You pay better than he did but it's still not enough. We work too many hours a day. Our women don't have time to be mothers. How do you want us to survive like that?'

'Do you think I am made of money?! Do you think it's easy to run a business? You know nothing about my life as I know nothing of yours...you are my employee and that's that. Listen! Next time this happens you'll not put your feet inside this factory ever again, Bates! I'll sack you. And after I do, no one will give you a job, you know that don't you?'

'Yes sir, I know.' John dropped his eyes to the floor.

'You are warned. I don't want any more headaches like this one. Tonight will be the last visit of my future son in law before the wedding and I can't occupied my mind with this nonsense.'

John looked up at his master. Soon, she would be gone forever. His heart ached in his chest and his breath caught, and for a moment he couldn't move from his spot. She had never belonged to him, she could never, but somehow he felt a part of him being lost with her. As if her wedding meant their death. The most beautiful and tender part of him, gone forever.

'I hope everything goes well for you daughter, sir. She deserves much happiness.'

Mr Smith frowned, 'She's been childish enough to think quite the opposite. Girls these days...too much thinking on their own. It's hard to raise daughters, Bates. They never do as you say.'

John smiled, almost happy to hear it. 'She'll come 'round. They always do.'

'You don't know my daughter Bates,' his master sighed. 'Sometimes...if it wasn't for my wife...'

John's eyes grew wider. _If it wasn't for his wife what?_ _Spit it out, man!_

'Why am I talking to you about this? Go home man, you won't be working today...you can come back tomorrow. And I don't want to hear your name involved in this trouble ever again!'

'As you wish, sir.'

Mr Smith looked at him with an angrily. John could see the red of rage in his features and smiled inwardly.

One day without working meant less money at the end of the week, but John thought it would be worth it. The strike had shaken his master, that's all he wanted.

XXXXXX

At the Smith's house, dinner was going just as well as could be expected. Spirits were high, and everyone was quite talkative. Even Anna was trying hard to bring herself to be happy about her wedding. If her mother could spend a lifetime pretending she could do just the same. Their position was made for appearances, and Anna would play the high society's game...at least for now.

'You are a picture tonight.'

'You'll make me blush, Charles.'

'Can't a future husband admire his beautiful bride? You are a picture, Anna. Always.'

'Thank you. You are far too kind.' She pursed her lips, uncomfortable with his compliment.

'Anna!' her mother called. 'Why don't you show the library to Charles?' she smiled cordially.

_She might as well just say it and tell me to take him to a different room so we could be alone,_ Anna thought, sighing.

'Oh yes, I would love to see the book,' he raised his brow.

'I'm sure you would.' But her voice gave away her irony and Charles looked down awkwardly.

They both excused themselves and walked to the library. The room was enormous, almost as big as dining room. It was the nicest room in the house, and even though it was so large, Anna found comfort in it. The furniture was dark and the walls red velvet, though the long windows helped making it look less dark than it really was. She would miss coming here, and reading all the books she wished.

'I will miss my books,' she smiled sadly, running her fingertips across one of the great shelves.

'You won't be moving to China. You can always visit.'

'It's not the same, is it?'

'Our library is not as big but...it'll be as much yours as this one. You can decorate it with your likes, have all the books you want.'

'That's very kind of you Charles.'

'I just want to see you happy.'

'Im sure you do.'

'But you aren't, are you?'

She looked at him questioningly.

'You don't like me the way I like you,' he continued.

She looked down shyly as he approached her.

'I try to make you feel better and I try to show you how much I care for you and...' he closed the distance between them and she stepped back slowly until her back met one of the bookshelves. 'You never look at me with desire in your eyes. Whenever I visit you, I never see longing.'

'Charles...' he was so close to her she could feel his breath on her skin. She was starting to feel nervous but didn't know what to do.

'I want to kiss you.'

'Charles, please.' She tried to walk away from him but he grabbed her by the waist. She gasped. 'I'm not sure this is proper, Charles,' her voice was shaky and she was terrified. 'What if someone...'

'No one will come, they know we want to be alone. We've never kissed properly...I want to kiss you.' And before she could comprehend, his lips were on hers. He kissed her, almost violently as she tried to be free from his arms, and finally she was able to hit him hard enough to make him stop.

'What are you doing?!' she shouted in tears.

'You will be my wife! I'll give you whatever you want but you'll have to be mine! That's all I ask.'

He tried to grab her again and with all the strength she had in her she slapped him in the face.

'You will not touch me ever again!' she cried furiously.

He covered the aching hot cheek with his hand. 'You'll be my wife! You'll be the mother of my children, you will give me what I ask for.'

'I can't give you what belongs to someone else!' He stared at her in shocked silence after the words were spoken. Realisation hit her and she didn't know whether she should stay or run away. But when she saw the confusion on his face she made her decision.

'What? What did you say? Anna!' So she ran. He tried to take hold of her wrist but she was able to pass by him, and before he could catch her she was out of the door and gone.

XXXXXX

She ran as fast as she could, holding her dress in her hands so as not to trip. Her hair was falling down and tears stained her face.

At night time the streets were confusing. Every corner seemed the same, every sign was equal to the previous one and she felt even more lost now, if that was possible.

The streets were just like her life, a dead end with no hope for a new path to be crossed.

Then, out of the darkness, a large silhouette appeared and the shock of it made her head spin. She found herself on the ground, half awake, with his arms around her. The arms she so longed for. Was this a dream?

'Miss! Miss?' He tapped her cheek softly. 'Oh thank God. Wake up, Miss.'

'Mr Bates?' she mumbled.

'What on Earth are you doing here Miss, and in such state?' He helped her to stand and supported her in his strong arms, wrapping one around her middle. When she looked up at him and saw his kind smile she couldn't help but hug him. He stopped breathing when she did, but a moment after he let himself respond to her embrace.

He pushed them to the darkest part of the alley; if someone saw her with him, like this...it would be the end for both of them.

'What's happened, Miss?' he asked, rubbing her back. 'You can tell me.' Her sobs were painful to him as a stab to his heart. 'Please don't cry.'

'Charles...' she sobbed. 'He forced himself on me.' She said into his chest.

'What?! Look at me!' he said at once, fear and rage running through his blood. 'What did he do?' He asked as he rubbed his thumbs against her cheeks to clean her tears away.

'He grabbed me and kissed me.'

'What else?'

'He told me...' she stammered in embrasement. 'He told me I had to give him what he wanted because I'll soon be his wife.'

John nodded. 'That's all? He didn't do anything else?'

'I ran then. I slapped him and ran.'

He smiled at her, proud that she had found the courage to slap him. 'Good. Here, dry your tears.' He gave her his handkerchief.

'I can't go back, Mr Bates.' She dried her face.

'You have to.'

'I can't.'

'You can't?' He was confused.

'I said something...he will tell my father surely and if he does...I am ruined.'

'What did you say?'

'I said...' she looked down. 'I said, I couldn't give him what belongs to someone else.' She looked up at him again.

They stared at each other for a moment, as he took in her words. Words that made their way to his ears with all the meaning they held. The meaning of him, of them. The meaning of something ever so forbidden but not wrong at all. Of something so right as being alive, something so powerful as breathing. Their feelings were pure and true, and love is never wrong even when the world around them makes it look so.

As if something pulled him, he began to lean into her. She shivered inside when she felt his warm breath against her skin. How different her emotions were, when the man was the right one. She longed for his kiss, more than anything else, so she just stood there under his spell and within his strong arms, waiting for his lips to meet hers, waiting for his experience to guide her... but before anything could happen he thought twice of what he was doing. A man like him, with a girl like her, at night, in a dark alley...no.

'Miss,' he broke the silence, 'Come on, I'll take you home.'

She shook her head no, but he persuade her to walk, and they moved slowly along the road. The courage to look at him had abandoned her. In all her disappointment she was embarrassed. For him and for herself. He gave her his old jacket and she took it thankfully.

But silence between them never lasted long. The need to explain herself was always stronger than their awkwardness, and how many times like this have they shared before? So many she couldn't think of all of them, and all of them worked out for the better. She trusted him with her truth and her soul. Why, she didn't know. He held a mystifying power over her, over her mind and thoughts. His power made her share everything with him, even if sometimes she knew she shouldn't.

'I don't love him. I never will, and after tonight...I think I hate him.'

'You heart is too kind to hate.'

'I'm not that perfect, Mr Bates.' She stopped walking. 'I'm as human as you are.'

He chuckled, 'Of course you are.' But she was perfect to him. 'Here we are.' he said as he looked ahead and saw his master with anxious eyes looking on in the distance.

'Anna!' her mother called when she saw her at the door. 'We were getting ready to go look after you! What in God's name happened for you to ran away like that? And at night? Leaving us all worried and...' She looked at John then and widen her eyes in surprise. 'Who's this?' Her mother looked at John as if he were a wild beast that she had never seen before.

'Bates! You found her?' Her father asked approaching him with relief in his voice. Charles watched from doorway but did not come out.

'I found her wandering the streets. She was lost.'

'He helped me Father,' she pleaded as her mother looked at the jacket in her back in disgust.

'Thank you for bringing her home, Bates.'

'You don't need to thank me, sir.' Mr Smith offered him his hand and John took it. They both nodded and parted.

'Let's go inside, you are awfully unkempt.' her mother said twisting her nose, as if her state was more important than her well being.

'Wait!' Anna halted, and taking the old jacket from her back. 'Mr Bates?' He looked at her as she handed it to him. 'Thank you so much.'

'You're welcome, Miss.'

They shared a sad, longing filled smile, a smile as tender as if it were a goodbye kiss. The kiss that almost happened, and Charles saw it from his place in the doorway. Her eyes held what he wanted for himself. This Bates was the man she had talked about.

The mill worker had a smile on his face. A smile meant for her eyes only...and Charles wondered if something had happened while they were together, and when Anna entered the house, with her eyes downcast and a smile on her lips, he was sure.

XXXXXX

'Your fiance wants to say goodnight,' her mother said entering the room. 'He's waiting in the hall. Now put on a sorry face and don't forget your manners.' Anna was already in bed after a bath and a good airbrushing, so slowly and against her will, she stood up, put on her robe and wrapped her shawl around her shoulders and followed her mother.

'Here she is. Don't take too long you two. It's ever so late for meetings and chats.' Mrs Smith said before leaving them alone.

'Anna,' Charles looked around to be sure they were truly alone before continuing. 'I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I am very ashamed. Can you forgive me?'

Anna nodded, bringing her shawl closer to her, but she barely heard his words.

'We are going to be husband and wife next Sunday and I don't want us to walk down the aisle with our backs turned toward each other. I want us to begin our life on good terms.'

'Don't marry me then! Please, Charles.'

'What?'

'I don't love you Charles, you know that. Why make our lives miserable? I will never make you happy. I will never give you what you want. I wish I could, truly, but I can't.'

'I will make you forget him.'

'You won't. You will only make me remember him even more. Every kiss, every touch we share...I'll wonder how much better it would be if it was him.'

'How can you want to give yourself to a mill worker? Years older than you!'

'What?' she looked up at him in confusion.

'I know who he is. The man who helped you tonight. I saw the way you looked at each other... it's him, isn't it?'

She blinked nervously and her words failed to deny his accusations. Silence was always a yes and Charles knew it too well.

'How can you love such a crude man... He lives in the slums, Anna! He lives with rats walking around his feet at night. Does he even know how to hold a fork?!'

'He's not crude, far from it. And as for the rest...I don't love him because of where he lives, I love him for who he is. And he's only poor because my father doesn't pay them enough...'

'He has put those kind of ideas in your head already? That kind of talking is against our own.'

'He hasn't put anything in my head but love and kindness...and that kind of talk is not against our own! It's against injustice. Now...if we are unjust...'

'I'm sorry but I won't call be wedding off.'

'Charles!'

'I won't let you ruin our life over a stupid infatuation. I won't. I can't, Anna. You are just dazzled by something you don't know. You find him some sort of an attraction to sigh over for a couple of days.'

Anna didn't say a word. She looked down at her hands and cursed him for calling what she felt a stupid infatuation. How could he know? How could he understand? If he had a clue of what love was he wouldn't call it stupid. There's nothing more right than being in love. Yes, she had been sighing over him and she would do it for the rest of her life gladly. If only society was more merciful. If only an act of love wasn't pointed out as something dirty and stupid.

'Goodnight.' he said at last. 'I'll see you Sunday, at the aisle.' With that he left and when he was out of sight she ran to her room and fell in bed crying.

She punched her pillow in fury, her life falling away from her grasp like water.

'Miss, whatever is the matter?' Elsie came in the room as soon as he left.

'Oh Elsie. I don't know what to do with my life. I want to be happy and I don't know what to do.'

'I knew this was going to happen. You should have buried that John Bates deep on his grave!'

But how could she kill the one thing that made her feel alive. The one she had always been waiting for since she was not more than a child. Since she could think for herself, she would sit down at her window and look outside at the people strolling along the street, and she would imagine herself, married, happy, in love. With a crowd of children made from passion, to give her light in her life, and a handsome and gentle husband by her side to give her purpose. As she grew up, those dreams lost their fire. They became dormant in her heart. As she learned she would marry the one her father would choose, she gave up, but now, they were very much alive again, as John Bates was. He had made her dream again, made her feel restless and breathless and this time she didn't want to give up on them again. This time she almost tasted his kiss, she felt his touch and the strength of his arms around her. She couldn't bury it, she tried and she failed. She wouldn't try ever again.

'Do you know where he lives?'

'Who?'

'Elsie! Mr Bates.'

'Oh my Lord! Don't you fear for your future Miss? Why do you want to know?'

'I want to visit him.'

'Oh Lord.' The maid looked up questioning the heavens, 'What ruin will she bring upon this house?!.'

'Elsie...I want to bring them a basket. I know he has a sister...they struggle to feed the little ones...I want to say thank you after he saved me.'

'Your kindness towards them is touching but … Miss, you shouldn't.'

'Please Elsie! Tell me where he lives. If you don't someone else will. Please.' She begged as a child.

The maid thought for a moment, the indecision causing her to frown her brow. 'Alright,' she sighed, 'but you have to promise, that visit is a thank you and a goodbye. You are going to marry in five days! Your life is all settled as it is...please, don't ruin your future, my child, please.'

'I promise, Elsie. I promise,' she lied with a smile on her face.

When she was left alone to sleep, she took from under her pillow the handkerchief he had given her. Gently, she touched it. The rough fabric so different from the ones she was used to. It reminded her of his skin on the day she kissed his cheek. Her half opened eyes gave away her wandering mind. She was there again, in that dark alley with him.

Caressing the fabric against her cheek she let herself dream of that so longed for kiss. What would he taste of? Would she like it? Would she feel the world spin around herself? It wouldn't be like Charles' that was a fact. His kiss had been clumsy and she even felt disgust. His skin had been soft and he smelled of fancy perfume, and the taste of his lips held nothing but demand.

She smelled the white fabric and Mr Bates smell was still there. It smelled of old linen and wood, and of himself. She loved it. That night she slept with it on her pillow and she dreamed he was there with her. Sitting by her side admiring her and smiling. He held her book in his hands and one of the pages was marked. She asked him what page it was and he only said 'Twenty one.'

XXXXXX

John held his jacket in the darkness. She was still all over it. This couldn't be, this couldn't happen. How could he have let himself fall under her spell? A man like him! Known for his wisdom and quick wit. He was a dreamer but he never dreamed of the unthinkable, of the forbidden. He was down to earth and simple...how could he let himself become a fool for such thing as passion. He never believed in undying love anyway. Maybe, he had always been wrong.

He threw his jacket away before sitting down on his old thin mattress on the floor. This would have to end. She was going to be married in five days, five! He was old enough to be her father. She was a lady! From a far higher society than him. He had nothing to give her, nothing at all. Not even a proper roof over her head. He was nothing. He was as high as the dirt she walked upon.

What was he thinking when he let himself enjoy her touch, or..._I almost kissed her!_ He thought, enraged with himself. She was just a girl, an innocent girl, how could he have done that to her? She was just confused and he was taking advantage of it. The not so proper dreams he had had...he was a bastard. He deserved nothing but her hatred. Why did she always find her way to his heart?

'Why can't she be happy with what she has?'

'Happiness, most of the times, is what we want not what we have.' His thoughts had been whispered and caught by his sister's ear. She walked towards him in the darkness, holding a candle in her hand. 'It's Miss Anna Smith, isn't it?'

'Oh Mary. I am a stupid, stupid man.'

'You are a good man and she knows it.'

'No! Don't you understand? I'm good for us, not for her. Look at me, Mary. Sleeping on the floor for the lack of a room, while you sleep with the children in bed. What do I have to offer anyone? My old years and my disgrace?'

'You have your kindness to give, your wisdom. But not to her. Find a woman for youself John. Find a decent caring woman and forget that Miss of yours. For your own good. She'll drive you mad.'

'You don't understand...I don't want any woman. I never did.' He looked up sighing. 'I didn't even want Vera, you know that. I never had the need.'

'You were ever the charming young man. I was only a child but I remember well, father telling you off because you promised yourself to more than a girl at once.' She smiled trying to cheer him up, and she did, only for a moment. He smiled remembering those years of his life.

'Mary, it was just for the fun of it. I never dreamed of any of them, never longed for them. Never wanted any of them for myself, just a kiss and a bit of fun behind the crates...that's all I wanted.' Mary blushed at his words but let him continue. 'And with Vera, well...you know. She didn't have anyone else...I felt it was my duty, and I did as my conscience told me. And I don't regret it.'

'You loved her?'

'No...but she gave me William.'

'She loved you though.'

'She did...and my only regret is that I couldn't love her back.' He thought of his words. Would it happen to Anna? Would she regret it for all her life? He didn't want her to. Regret was like a poison. It killed your body and soul little by little and there was no cure, not when the one to apologise to was already dead.

'You have two options, John. Two options.' He looked at her questioningly. 'Either you tell her what you feel and let her decide or you forget her and live the rest of your days pretending this mad passion never happened. Which one would you regret less, brother?'

For the first time in his life, John Bates didn't have an answer. He wanted Anna, yes he did, more than everything, more than ever. She was the first woman he had ever dreamed o,f but he wouldn't forgive himself if he ruined her life...he was lost.

XXXXXX

'Mr Bates?'

Her white dress shone under the mighty sun and the smile on her lips made him feel at ease. He looked down at the white rose he held in his hand and walked towards her with the intention of giving it to her. She took it without averting her eyes from his and when he leaned down to kiss her she gasped in pain.

The thorns pierced her skin furiously as if the flower had a life of its own. He tried to help her in despair but the more he tried the more her red blood stained her immaculate white dress. They looked at each other and between cries she begged him to stop and leave, and when he did and saw her in the distance, her white dress was clean and the white rose lay on the ground and her hands were healed.

John woke up then, with heavy breathing and an aching heart. His demons were striking and filling him with guilt and he knew all too well what that dream meant. He would have to stay away from her before it was too late. He would have to be strong and stay away before she regretted it.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Next Chapter:<strong>_ _Anna visits the slums and finds something very interesting about her maid, Elsie Hughes. _

_Mary tries to put Anna off her brother, while Mrs Smith tries to convince Charles to take measures against John Bates. In the end Anna's instincts will prove to be the right ones but, will she be able to prevent the worst? _

_Thanks for reading! _


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N:** Good evening everyone :D Thank you so much for your kind words and support. It means a lot to me! In this chapter Anna visits John but she faces his sister Mary first, which leads to the development of the whole story. I hope you enjoy this chapter. _

_**Disclaimer:** Same as chapter 1-4._

* * *

><p>'Oh God,' she whispered as she went down the darkest alley in the city, which would lead to the slum where John Bates lived. She looked up at the dark buildings closing in on her. Dark, from the lack of sunlight, and dirty...so dirty. Stained clothes hang on rope clotheslines and the cries of children emanated from the houses around her; people sitting on the ground, filthy, smelling of death and rotten flesh, begged for handouts. Anna brought her hand to her face to keep the smell away while the other held the basket. What a terrible smell.<p>

Vacant eyed people, skinny as sticks, milled about her and looked at her as if she were a mere vision. Their mouths were open in awe and she could hear the women talking behind her back, whispering, gossiping.

'Morning Miss.' A woman called out and smiled at her. A kind face among judgemental ones. 'What are you doing here? This is not the place for a lady like you.' It was one of the women she had met at the factory. She had two children with her with smudged faces and sad eyes. Anna tried to avoid looking at their empty eyes and smiled at their mother instead.

'Meg! I...do you know where Mr Bates' house is?'

'Sure I do, miss. We all know each other here. See that corner over there, well, just right after you'll see an old fountain, he lives just in front.'

'Thank you so much, Meg. Have a good day.' Anna took two pieces of pie from the basket and gave each to the children. 'It's apple pie,' she smiled at them and Meg thanked her generously. Apple pie was something they had never heard of, but they ate it as if it were the best luxury in the world.

Not one minute later she saw the fountain. A fountain with no water and she thought how odd that was. _Why did they built it then?_

She knocked on the old door and a feminine voice called from the inside. 'Come in!' and with a deep breath she did as offered.

The room was dark, and she noticed there was only a single small window. Anna entered and saw in one corner a dark haired woman sitting in an old chair with a child in her arms.

'Good afternoon...'

Mary stood up propping her child on her hip and walked towards her, and when the faint light from that one window hit Anna's face, she stopped in her tracks and looked at her in confusion.

'I...I'm Anna Smith. Maybe Mr. Bates mentioned me?'

'Miss Smith?...Of course, miss! I didn't know you were coming.' Her eyes were wide in surprise, as she gestured at the state of the room around her.

'Please! Don't bother because of me. I only brought this basket with food and some flowers for you and the children. As a thank you, for what Mr Bates did for me last night.'

Mary nodded. 'Please, sit down, miss. Would you accept a cup of tea?'

Anna thought for a moment but then she accepted.

'May I hold your baby for you?' Anna had always had a weak spot for children. She had no infants in the family so every time she saw one it caused her heart to melt.

'Thank you, miss.'

Anna took the baby in her arms and sat down. She spent some time cooing at the little girl who looked up at her, mesmerized by this new person. As Anna looked around the house she saw an old table, five chairs and a thin straw mattress on the floor. There was also a fireplace with an old stove beside it and a small cupboard with some dishes, and one door that Anna imaged led to the bedroom. But only one when there were six people living there? Nothing beyond that, not even a rug on the floor or a bookshelf. The dark and dust were predominant. How could people live with so little?

Mary noticed her wandering eyes, almost scared with what she saw. She placed the mug on the table.

'Who's mattress is that?' Anna asked while caressing the baby's cheeks.

'Brother's. He sleeps there. Me and the children sleep in the bed.'

Anna nodded impressed. 'What's her name?'

'Sara.'

'I know about your...situation. I'm so sorry. It must be hard for you to be without a husband, so young and with children to care for.'

'It is hard, but brother is a big help. I'm lucky to have him.'

'Yes, Mr Bates is a good man.'

'That he is...' Mary nodded staring at Anna. She knew too well why she was talking like that. 'You are here to see him, aren't you? Other than to bring us the basket.'

Anna lowered her eyes. 'Yes, I wanted to thank him personally.'

'And say goodbye?'

'Goodbye?'

'You are going to get married come Sunday...aren't you?'

'Yes.' Anna's face fell in disappointment.

'I've never seen such an unhappy bride, if you'll excuse me for saying so, miss.'

'Did you marry for love Mrs...?'

'Bates...'

'Bates? I thought you were married.' Anna was confused.

'We didn't have money to wed, just like most of these poor souls here. My wedding day was when I found out I was pregnant with my George. After that it's certain.'

'But you loved your...partner?'

'Yes... I loved _my husband_ very much.'

'Well then, you wouldn't understand my misery.'

'You are making your own misery, miss.' Mary sat down exasperated. 'Look around you...this is misery. Would you give up your fancy clothes and vast rooms for this?'

'I don't understand...'

'You do. You're smarter than you show. This is what my brother has to give. See what he sleeps on...would you sleep there too?'

Anna looked down embarrassed and tried to defend herself pretending to be entertained by the baby's flailing. She smiled down at the child but her smile failed to reach her eyes and her soul.

'I don't mean to be rude miss but...the decision you make will live with you forever. If you choose to follow your heart and then regret it, do you think your grand society will take you back? After being dishonour by a man with no more than a straw mattress to sleep upon?'

'Mrs Bates...I'm not as weak as you make me.'

Mary experienced a fit of coughing before she was able to continue to speak. 'My brother has been in a state because of you. You are making him lose his mind and that's not good for any of us...'

'Well, he has done the same with me, Mrs Bates,' Anna said sulkily. Mary's words had cut her deep and she had to flex her jaw not to give away her hurt.

'What does your maid say about it?'

'My maid?'

'Elsie Hughes, isn't she your maid?' Mary began coughing again and Anna looked down trying to avoid Mary's embarrassed eyes.

'She is but...what does she have to do with it.'

'Hasn't she read your palm?'

'My palm?'

'Your hand, Miss. Your fortune.'

'I didn't know she read...palms…?'

'Well, she used to, people would pay her a chilin to do so. My late mother used to...and she was always right. They would call her Reader. Elsie Reader'

'She never talks about her past. I didn't know...'

'Maybe she doesn't want to remember it...' Mary raised her brow. 'I wouldn't, after everything...'

'Everything? What is...everything?'

Just as Mary was going to answer, the door opened and John entered. He looked almost stricken when he laid eyes on Anna and quickly looked at his sister in search of an answer.

'Miss Smith was kind enough to bring us a basket, as a thank you for what you did last night.'

Anna stood up and handed the baby to Mary. 'Your girl is lovely, Mrs Bates.' then she turned her eyes toward Mr. Bates, looking shyly up at him. 'Good afternoon, Mr Bates.'

'You shouldn't be here.'

'I just wanted to thank...'

'You already did last night... we don't need charity.'

'It's not charity, Mr Bates, it's a kindness.'

He nodded 'You should go now.'

Anna glanced at Mary for a second and smiled sadly, 'I won't be hurt by your words Mr Bates. I know you are trying to put me off. You don't have to though...your sister did that job for you.'

'Put you off? I don't understand.' He looked at Mary and she knew her brother would tell her off once Miss Smith was gone.

'I'm sorry if I've caused you any trouble. It was not my intention, truly...I must be going.'

'Do you want me to escort you? Do you know the way?'

'Thank you, Mr Bates, but I don't need your charity,' Anna said bitterly and John cursed himself when he realised that his foolish words had offended her good intentions.

Without a last glance she quickly made her way out, leaving him behind with his regret. He looked down at his feet, trying to think a way to redeem himself.

'You should kill any hope before its roots scar too deep, John.''

And in a flash he was after Anna, running as fast as he could. He saw her in the distance and called. 'Miss!' But she didn't turn to look at him and he saw that she rushed her steps. 'Anna!'

She stopped then, her breath caughting in her throat and her heart thrumming in her chest. She felt his hand on her wrist and turned to face him.

'Why did you come?'

'I wanted to see you!'

'Why?'

'Because I love you Mr Bates! I know it's not lady like to say it but...I don't care. I love you.'

Everything around them grew silent to their ears, even the crying children allowed them a moment of introspection.

'You don't know what you are saying. You are too young...too inexperienced.'

'Too young to feel love, Mr Bates, is that it?'

'Too young to understand! Too young to see the consequences of this madness.'

'Madness? Am I too young to dream of you day and night? Too young to dream of your kiss and your touch?

'Don't say such things...' He looked around. 'Someone will hear you?'

'The one I want to have my attention doesn't care for it at all, and I shall scream it to you until it's marked upon your flesh that I love you and that I am not as weak as you think I am. Your sister did a wonderful job of telling me how wrong this is but...I don't care one bit for what she says. In fact, the whole world could be against me at this moment and still...I wouldn't care.'

John was in shock at her words and determination, and he loved her so much for that. But still, it didn't make him feel any better about their situation.

'I am nothing! A nobody...I have nothing to offer, nothing to live or die for. I am a man from another world... a world you wonder and romanticise about.' He smiled sadly. 'I am nothing but one of the fairytales you read...but our ending won't be happy if you don't stop tormenting me.'

She pushed him away making him let go of her arm. 'Who's tormenting who, Mr Bates? I was born and raised in status, my life was all decided and I had nothing to complain about...you're the one who's making me question everything I was brought up to believe.'

'I'll take all the fault you want me to bear, but please...go. Forget me and be happy, please.'

'Don't you think I've tried?' Her voiced caught in a sob as her tears slid down her cheeks. 'I can't. Not ever. The only ruin I recognise is to be without you!'

'You should...you must! I am nothing.'

'You may be nothing to yourself but you are everything to me. Tell me you don't love me and I promise you...you'll be nothing but an unfulfilled dream...one of the many I'll have through my life.'

He looked down at ground avoiding her demanding eyes. His heart started breaking long before the words left his mouth. 'I don't love you.'

'John Bates...you are a terrible, terrible liar and I hate you for that!'

She ran away down the dark lane and soon she was out of sight. Bringing his hands to his face he cursed himself into his palms. Why was he doing this to her? To them?

He shouldn't have said it. In all his wasted gallantry he had never been more regretful in his life.

'_If only I could tell you that I love you more than life itself.' _

Slowly he made his way home, tired, crestfallen, weak. A shadow of the proud man he had always been. He raised his eyes when he felt the presence of her sister behind him, patting his shoulder, letting him know she would help him in his heartbreak.

'What did you tell her?' he asked slowly.

'I just told her to look around and imagine herself living here.'

'You didn't have the right,' his voice was barely audible, as if all his strength had vanished when Anna was no longer there.

'I had every right! You are my brother and I only want to see you well.'

'It's not your place to say such things to a lady...'

'Why is that? Is she too important for us now? You, who always said we are as good as them...and now you are telling me it's not my place to say such things to a lady like her?'

He sighed tiredly, 'I just don't want you to speak like that to her.'

'But you can...'

'It's different!'

Mary rolled her eyes. 'Don't worry John, she won't come back. She won't choose you over a life of pampering.'

'I hope you are right.' But he didn't, not really. He hoped she was very wrong. But how could he hope such a thing? The conflict in his mind was driving him over the edge of sanity. His head ached and he felt dizzy.

'But you don't, do you? Why are you so upset when this was what you wanted?'

His sister was a fool, he thought. This is not what he wanted. He wanted her, Anna Smith. He wanted her and nothing else. And now that she was gone the need for her was unbearable. He felt like a boy, a silly childish boy who only wants what he can't have and wants it all the more when it's gone.

'Where's my jacket?'

'I washed it.'

'You what?'

'It was as dirty as the children feet.'

He was possessed. He hoped he could still have her scent for a bit longer. But now even that was gone. The presence of her body had been washed away with water and soap as if it were nothing but simple dirt. He remembered now, he had left it on the floor last night...'Next time you ask me before you wash my things, Mary! Where's the children?'

'They are at Mrs Oliver's, playing with her sons. Why?'

'I'm going out.'

'Where?'

'Out!'

And before she could ask him twice he was gone.

XXXXXX

'Are you sure, Charles?'

He nodded while he sipping his tea. 'I told one of my men to follow her every step. She's at his house now.'

'I can't believe it...' Mrs Smith shook her head, incredulous. 'I thought this was all up to her stubborn ways, she always found pleasure in doing the opposite of what I said...but I could never imagine...' she sighed, exasperated. 'Not that man... A mill worker? Oh my God, I knew she would be my death.'

'She doesn't want to marry me, Mrs Smith. And honestly, I don't want her to go up the aisle as if she were facing the gallows.'

'But Charles, what you want me to do? To let her free to do as she wishes? She's my daughter!'

'I am ready to take her knowing she loves another man, I am...but...I need to be sure she'll forget him, Mrs Smith. I can't live my life loving a woman who doesn't love me back. I can't live in fear that she'll run to him whenever I'm not home.'

'You and your foolish speech of love...Is that what you've been learning in school these days?' Charles looked down sheepishly. 'I know of something that will make her forget that man,Charles'

'And what's that?'

'An ambush.'

'An ambush?'

'She'll forget him if he's dead. Hire men to do the job. Men you trust. Tell them to kill him fast and get rid of the body.'

'I am sorry but...I can't pay for someone's death.'

'Don't you want to marry my daughter? Well then...that's the only way. He's a nothing, Charles, no one will notice he's gone. What difference will it make in God's world if one less of that kind is six feet under?' She wasn't asking him. She was telling him he had to do it. Telling him she knew for sure this was for the better. Charles' eyes widened, he never expected such words would come out of Mrs Smith's mouth, but then...she was known for many things and one of them was the gift of persuasion.

Not long after Charles had left, Anna arrived home, breathing heavily with an upset look on her face. She was about to climb the stairs that led to her room when her mother stopped her.

'Where have you been?'

Anna brought her hand to her chest. 'Mother, you gave me a fright!' She took a deep breath before continuing, 'I went for a walk in the park. Aren't I allowed?'

'Not alone you're not.'

'I didn't take long, did I?'

'You took long enough...' Her mother eyed her from head to toe. 'You missed your fiance.'

'I thought I wouldn't see him anymore until the wedding.'

'Well, because he cares for you, he came to see how you were doing after last night. And you should show him your appreciation.'

'I don't appreciate it.'

They faced each other for a moment, both gauging the other's thoughts, as if they were written on their foreheads. They were not and in this case, her mother's victory was granted.

'You are not to leave this house until you have his ring in your finger.'

'Whyever not?' Anna questioned desperately raising her voice.

'If you weren't to be wed in five days I would get out the switch. I know very well where you were! You shameless liar. You were with that man...Bates.' She spat out his name with contempt.

Anna looked at her mother in fright. _How did she know?_

'That's what I did wrong...I didn't hit you enough when you were a child. If I had done what my mother...'

'I would have become a cold hearted person just like you and God knows I would rather be dead than turn out like you, Mother!'

The slap came out of nowhere and hit Anna like thunder. No warning, just the shock and noise. The pain of it burned into her.

'Go to your room! Now!'

Anna ran up the stairs, one hand in her cheek, trying to stop the tears sliding down her face. Her sobs echoed through the mansion and Elsie came to her aid.

An aid that was no more than advice. 'You have no right to talk to your mother like that Miss. You owe her respect.'

'Why should I respect someone who never respected me, Elsie?'

'Miss. She's your mother!'

'Does that give her the right to treat me as property? I am a person, Elsie. I have feelings of my own, whether she wants it or not. She should respect that.'

Elsie sighed, 'Mother's rights are different than daughter's...you will understand that when you have your own children.'

'I will never be as bitter as she is, never. Hard life grows place for empathy, is that not what they say? Well, they are wrong! Her parents did the same thing to her and she hated it. She's unhappy until this day and that's what she wants for me?'

'Hard life grows place for revolt...that's the right saying.'

Anna sat up on her bed and brought her knees up to wrap her arms around them. Resting her chin on them she sighed sadly.

'Mr Bates and his sister tried to put me off.'

'For the better, I reckon.'

'I told him that I love him.'

'Miss! You shouldn't have.'

'He said he didn't love me but his eyes betrayed his words.' _His nerves, his sweaty brow, the way his voice trembled. His whole self betrayed him. '_I saw it. You should have heard him...the way he spoke. He didn't look me in the eye, not in the way he usually does. He avoided me and when I left..he stayed there...lingering in a moment he could no longer have.'

'He knows the wrong in all this, Miss. He knows it and he wants it far from his life. It'll only bring him trouble. Think Miss...if your mother slaps you for the truth...imagine what she'll do if she finds out about this secret?'

'Father would sack him, that's for sure.'

Elsie's laugh made Anna frown in confusion. 'If that was the only repercussion Mr Bates would be a lucky man! Do you really think the Missus would allow him to have you? Safe and sound?'

'Mother may be bitter and cold and even cruel but she would never...'

'You are still so young Miss, there's so many things you don't know.' She caressed Anna's cheek. A gesture that was so foreign to Anna from her own mother. 'Not for long...my child...your innocence won't remain forever.'

'What do you mean Elsie? Why do you always speak in riddles?'

'Full words leave no place for quest...without quest there's no life. Now rest miss, I'll bring you something to eat later.'

'There's one more thing Elsie...' Anna gave a small smile. 'I know you used to read fortunes. To read one's hand...Mr Bates' sister told me.'

Elsie smiled back at her. 'And so there it is. You are already finding out past things.'

'Can you read my hand, Elsie? Read my hand and tell me where my luck...tell me if you see John Bates in my future.'

'As you grow older you'll learn that some things should never be done twice...I was a mill worker once, who read fortunes to earn a little extra, now I'm a maid to a daughter of high society and I earn enough for my sustenance .'

'Please Elsie...please!'

The maid shook her head and exited the room, leaving Anna's hand stretched out in the air. Slowly, she brought her hand to her heart and her tears threaten to fall once again. Everyone she knew and loved were making her feel so awfully alone. Even him, especially him.

XXXXXX

A new day always brought new chances and the prospect for something better, _and maybe today was that day_, Anna thought as she stretched her body from another night of restless sleep.

For the past two days she had been at home, looking out of her window and seeing people outside living their lives normally. How many of those people, walking around in long dresses and parasols, fancy morning suits and billycocks, had a lost love or were unhappy with their arranged marriages?

She looked down at her hands to find her poetry book opened.

'Page twenty one,' she whispered, as she caressed the page with her fingertips.

**'_When age chills the blood, when our pleasures are past_**

**_For years fleet away with the wings of the dove _**

**_The dearest remembrance will still be the last,_**

**_Our sweetest memorial, the first kiss of love.'_**

**_- The First Kiss of Love – Lord Byron, 1806_**

The poem unsettled her. Poetry usually made her feel better, but this time it was far from it. Somehow she felt sick and dizzy. She threw the book aside and stood up from her window seat. Why was this happening now? Everything in her life was falling apart and now a simple poem was making her feel terribly ill.

From the corner of her eye she caught sight of her image in the mirror, and slowly she approached it. How many times had she adorned and admired herself in this mirror? And for what? How she wished that all those hours passed seeing her figure had been for him.

Suddenly, as in a dream, she saw an older version of herself. Bittered by time with loveless dark eyes. The memories of him were still there but she had nothing to remember but pain. Not his words of love, not even a kiss. Everything had turned against her and she was cold as stone, lifeless and meaningless. She was wearing black and somehow, even though her heart was stone it ached terribly for the part of her that was missing. The pain she felt was out of this world. It took her breath away. His presence was gone, definitely gone, as if he had existed a lifetime ago. As if he was not anymore and then...suddenly, she understood. Her older eyes shouted at her younger true self of his absence. An absence that had been for years. An absence that made her almost forget the kindness of his smile and the tenderness of his eyes. An absence older than time.

She shook her head to clear it. Fright and unshed tears filled her eyes. No! She felt every single rush of pain through her bones and veins. Every bit of sorrow, regret and mourning. She felt a lifetime of misery and emptiness. She felt him dead.

XXXXXX

The house echoed with her running down the stairs and Elsie came to inspect the sound.

'Miss?' she questioned her as Anna put on her hat.

'I need to...' Anna tried to whisper.

'Where do you think you are going?'

'Mother! I am going for a walk.' She faked a smiled.

'You have a short memory, Anna. I told you, you would only leave this house to go up the aisle.'

'Mother, please, you can't be serious...'

'I am. You are going to wed after tomorrow...you won't die for one day, will you?'

'Mother please I beg you! Elsie will accompany me.'

Elsie widen her eyes in shock but she said nothing. The last thing she wanted now was to make things worse.

'You really think I am stupid, child? Don't you think I know Elsie knows about your love affairs? Your secrets? Don't you think I know you are going to meet him again?'

Anna and Elsie looked at each other. Guilty eyes and nervous blinks. The maid was not impressed though, she knew her mistress would get at the truth. She knew how smart she could be...she knew it all too well.

'Mother...I don't love Charles…he tried...he kissed me against my will and tried to grab me. That's why I ran that night.' Her eyes were pleading, waiting for something to soften her mother's heart.

'If you think you will make me spare you of your fate you are very wrong. There's no such thing as a groom kissing his bride against her will. You will be his wife! You have to do what he wants. That's your duty.'

'You can't be serious!' Anna shouted.

'Well, I am, and you go up to your room now!'

Anna raised her chin and took a deep breath. 'No! I am not going to my room!'

'Miss..' Elsie pleaded.

'No. You can't make me stay mother.' Anna turned to leave the house but before she could walk past, her mother grabbed her by her wrist.

'You are not going anywhere!'

'You can't stop me mother! I am going to see him whether you want it or not!' She tried to get away from her mother's arms. 'I love him, Mother! Please. Try to understand. There's nothing you can do about it. Nothing!'

'You are going after him like a bitch in heat!'

'Please Mrs Smith.' Elsie tried to calm her down but was pushed aside.

'You stay quiet Elsie! She's not your daughter!' Mrs Smith eyes were red with rage and the maid looked down with tears forming in her eyes. 'Come now,' she pulled at Anna. 'You are not going anywhere!'

'I hate you!' Anna screamed and when Mrs Smith tried to slap her Anna grabbed her hand. 'You are not going to hit me again, Mother. You are not!'

Mrs Smith lost her patience when Anna tried to get herself free from her grasp and pulled her by the hair up the stairs.

'Mother, no, mother! Stop! No, please.' Anna sobbed in pain and revolt for this woman who was more of a torturer than a mother for her.

Elsie followed them in tears, trying to support Anna and prevent her to be dragged.

The servants were watching at the edge of the stairs in terror. Their mouths hanging open in shock.

When the women reached Anna's room, Mrs Smith threw her inside as if she was a broken doll. Anna laid on the floor, her hair down around her tear stained face, her dress crumpled and her heart in pieces.

'Compose her and put her to bed. She doesn't need to eat more today. ' Mrs Smith commanded. 'Oh! And if you dare to leave this house...you might as well never come back,' she finished before slamming the door of the room behind her.

Elsie kneeled on the floor next to Anna and tried to help her up. 'Come on, Miss,' she begged with her face soaked in tears. 'Let's get you cleaned up.'

'She's the devil, Elsie. I saw it in her eyes! She hates me.'

'You don't know what you are saying, Miss, please.'

'She was never...not even once, kind to me...she hates me Elsie. My mother hates me.'

Elsie bathed her in warm water with rose petals. Washed her hair with lavender scent and did it in a beautiful long braid. On the outside Anna was whole but on the inside she was filled with pain and shattered into a million pieces.

Soon after, she was in bed, dressed in her nightgown, and with her doll beside her. 'I wonder what Father will do when he finds out...'

'The Missus talked to him during dinner. He thought it was for the best...you, to stay here until your wedding.'

'She didn't tell him she dragged me by my hair, did she?'

Elsie glanced at her without an answer.

'I saw something... earlier...' Anna sniffed.

'You did? What did you see?' the maid asked as she folded some of Anna's undergarments.

'In the mirror. I saw myself.'

'But of course...'

'No! I saw myself older...I saw in to the future Elsie and...Mr Bates was dead...'

'Oh Miss, it must have been a bad dream.'

'No Elsie, I saw it as I'm seeing you now. It was an older me and I spoke to myself. I felt everything, everything...that's why I need to speak to him...I...I don't know how but...I need to be with him. I can't live without him Elsie and I want to live as much as I can with him. I felt that...if I don't see him today, I'll lose him forever...to death,' she whispered urgently.

'Oh Lord...please, Miss...that is nonsense'

'How can you say that when you used to read fortunes?! You should believe me more than anyone else.'

Elsie stayed silent. Anna watched as her mind wandered. Her maid was lost in past memories, she could see it in her eyes.' Elsie?' she called.

'I am sorry, Miss, I was...'

'Please Elsie...read my hand. I want to know if what I felt was right...I want to know what's in my future. Please!'

'I am sorry Miss, but no. Stop asking. I quit that a long time ago.'

'I demand you to read my palm!' Anna stood up from bed stretching her hand towards the maid. 'You are my maid and you'll do as I say.' She was determined and Elsie saw in her eyes the strength of a girl she didn't know. A girl who had been hidden until the day of the battle. And today was the day. Elsie knew what she had seen was not nonsense at all, she just wanted to protect her but maybe...telling would be her protection from a life of misery.

She took Anna's hand in hers and turned her palm up. Tracing the lines she closed her eyes for a moment, then she stared at her Miss.

'What then? What do you see?'

'You won't marry Mr Charles.' Elsie whispered.

'I won't?!' she laughed. 'What? What else Elsie,' the maid remained in silent for a moment and Anna's smile faded when she saw Elsie's worried frown. 'You are scaring me. Is John Bates in my future?'

'He is. John Bates,' she traced Anna's palm with her fingertips. 'To save him...you'll build your life over your parents ruin. Over their secrets and fears.'

Anna removed her hand from Elsie's with panic written on her face. 'No Elsie...that's not what I asked...'

'You don't question the destiny miss, he tells you everything he knows. Now go.'

'Go where?'

'Go meet him. He needs you. I was wrong...you can't bury your own heart. Go now and what you saw in the mirror will be nothing but a nightmare...but know this...once you go there will be no way back, this will be the first day of the rest of your life, my child.'

'But...it's night!'

'Go! Now!'

* * *

><p><em><strong>Next Chapter: <strong>Anna stops the worst from happening to John and slowly their life together begins. _

_**A/N: **Thank you for reading! And I hope you all have a Happy Christmas! _


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N:** Good evening everyone! Once again, thank you all so much for your follows, reviews and favourites. You are all so kind to me and I'm glad you are sticking with this fic :) It's so fun to write and knowing that you guys appreciate it is great! Thank you!_

_Hope you all have a good weekend!_

_In this chapter, as promised, we see the beginning of a new life for Anna, and for John as well. There's still trouble ahead of course, but at least, they are together now ;)_

_**Disclaimer:** Same as chapter 1-5._

* * *

><p>Anna ran as fast as she could through the darkness of a moonless night. She had been able to escape out the back kitchen door without making a in a long coat but no hat she tried to make her way through the confusing streets of London. At night everything was worse. The stark silence piercing through her ears and driving her almost to the edge of sanity, only her own heavy breathing and rushed steps following her, as hunters in the wild…that and the battle between fear and courage within her. Then she saw it. The same alley she took when she went to visit him, but before she could duck down the street she heard a strange noise that caught her attention coming from behind her.<p>

Nervously she looked around, trying to understand what was happening when she heard it.

'What are you doing?!' She recognised his voice, of course she did. 'Stop!' was the last she heard before the sound of hitting and clashing came to her ears. She heard gasps and moans and quickly she understood what was going on. She ran to the sound as fast as she could and from behind a brick wall she saw them.

Three men wearing black, hitting him while he laid on the ground, as demonic shadows gathered around him. She saw him trying to defend himself, but although he was a strong man, John Bates' superpowers were no more than a spell of love and definitely not enough for three men.

'Stop!' she screamed as loud as she could. 'Stop! Someone help, please! Help!' She hurried towards them with a braveness she didn't know she had and tried to hit one of them men on the head.

The man turned to look at her; to this small figure of a woman, red eyed and cheeks stained with tears, while holding nothing but her own fists and clenched jaw.

At first he tried to pushed her away but then he stopped when he recognized who she was. His eyes were wide with shock and she looked at him with horrified confusion on her face.

'Thomas!' she screamed in fury and tears. 'What are you doing? Stop!'

'What are you doing here, Miss?' he asked, and as soon and he did his partners in crime ran as fast as they could.

She was past reason and kneeled crying on the ground besides him. John was semi-conscious. Blood covering his clothes and face, and his body shaking in trauma.

'Oh no. What have they done to you?' she sobbed touching his broken body. John looked up at her with confused eyes. She couldn't make out his words. He could barely breathe.

'Shush, Mr Bates. You are going to be alright.' She caressed his hair gently but still he moaned in pain. 'I am sorry my dear, I am so sorry.'

Thomas was still there, unable to move, to make a sound, until her eyes were on him again and she asked him what she already knew.

'Who did this?'

He said nothing.

'Was it my mother?' she asked. And once again he remained silent, but this time the frown and the lowering of his eyes gave away his answer.

'How could you?!' she screamed again and the noise of footsteps approached them. 'You are going to regret it!' Thomas ran away after her furious words, but Anna knew she was not done with him yet.

'Miss Smith?' A group of five men appeared from around the corner and she knew them all. 'What happened?'

'They tried to kill him.'

'Bates!' one of them said with urgent voice. He was one of the employers of her father and John's colleague. 'Oh my Lord. We have to take him home, Miss.'

'Yes please, take him home.'

XXXXXX

'Oh my Lord, what happened?! John!' Mary cried when she opened the door, following the men who took him inside. Gently they placed him on his old mattress on the floor. 'Who did this?!'

'We don't know, Mary...when we arrived Miss Smith was the only one there, the men had run away already.'

Only then Mary noticed Anna at the door, in shock, scared, cold, forlorn as a lost child. 'If she hadn't been there I'm afraid...they would have killed him.'

Anna looked down at her feet, ashamed. After all this was all her fault.

'But why?' Mary kneeled on the floor next to her brother. 'Oh my dear brother...'

'He's a strong man, Mary. He needs to be taken care of and he'll be as good a new soon enough.'

Mary caressed his face ever so gently while she cried, looking at every inch of him, making sure that, at least, he was still in one piece. Then a cry was heard and a child called for her from the darkness of the other room and Mary stood up abruptly.

'I don't want them to see him like this...' But before she could finish her sentence Anna came forward.

'Go and tend to the children, I'll take care of Mr Bates.' Everyone widen their eyes at her bold statement.

'Miss...' one of the men began, but before he could say something else Anna insisted.

'Please, go home, and thank you for your help. I'll take care of him now.'

There was a long moment of staring and uncertainty, thoughts running through everyone's mind until finally the men left, leaving the women alone.

Anna kneeled beside him on the floor and cried upon his appearance. He winced when she reached for him.

'Shush...it's alright,' she whispered.

'They were paid weren't they?' Mary's voice made her jump. 'Brother is not one to put himself in trouble...not like that. They were paid to do it, and I am sure that your father is behind this.'

'You don't know what you are talking about, Mrs Bates.'

'I do, yes! My brother tries to fight for a better life for us and this is what happens...your father is tired of...'

'It wasn't my father! He would never do such thing.'

'Who else then?'

'The Mistress.'

'Your mother?'

'She's not my mother anymore,' Anna said with cold finality.

'But why?'

'I am the reason.'

Mary realisation struck her then, as she understood the meaning behind Anna's words. 'Get out!'

'No. I will take care of him.'

'You are not welcome here!'

'I may not be but you need me, and I'll stay for tonight. Tomorrow I'll bring a doctor to see him.'

'You are going to ruin us all, Miss...you...' But before Mary could finish, she began with a fit of coughing. One after the other.

Anna stood up from her place and rushed to her side, helping her sit down in a chair.

'Are you alright?' Anna asked nervous.

'I am fine.' Mary said trying to push Anna aside.' It's just a little cough. I don't need your help!'

Anna didn't believe her. It wasn't just a little cough, it was more than that, she saw it, in the white handkerchief Mary cleaned her mouth with. A drop of blood. It wasn't just a cold but something much worse. Something that could take her life.

'Go to bed, and rest. Tend to the children...it won't do them good to see Mr Bates like that.'

'How can I trust you?'

'Mrs Bates, I am the reason but not the instigator. I love your brother and that's why I was in the street in the middle of the night. Actually...it was Elsie who told me to come to his aid.' Mary looked at her in surprise. 'She read my fortune.'

Mary calmed down after her words. As if pronouncing the maid's name was some sort of peace handshake.

'I need water and some cloths to clean him. Where can I find some?'

The dark haired woman showed her the way and the two of them stripped him of his bloody clothes. The sight of his skin causing Anna to blush but the will to help him stronger than a foolish feeling made her compose herself right away and soon he was cleaned from all the blood and with fresh night clothes.

'Mummy?' George called, rubbing his sleep away from his eyes.

'Go to bed, I'll take care of him.'

XXXXXX

'Anna?'

She sighed with exasperation. 'It's me John, Mary.'

He opened his eyes slowly and blinked a few times before looking at her, still very much in pain. 'Of course...I just...' Even words were painful to pronounce.

'She was here, you weren't dreaming.'

'She was?'

'Yes. She took care of you all night.' Mary looked up before continuing. 'She saved you.'

'Where is she now?' His voice low and weak.

'She said she wanted to bring you something and also change. You know, they change five or six times a day.' Her voice was mocking. 'She'll be back. Now you rest. She'll bring a doctor as well, to see you, she said she would pay. '

'There's no...'

'Please, John...if she's willing to care for you let her. You are in no position to refuse medical assistance.'

He nodded with extreme difficulty. 'Where are the children?'

'I sent them to Mrs Oliver's. I don't want them to see you like this.'

Before she could speak again, he fell asleep into the healing rest he needed. His ailing body and bloody wounds still very much opened and stinging. Mary touched his forehead and she realised his temperature was too high, and for the first time she hoped that Miss Smith wouldn't take too long to come back.

XXXXXX

Anna rushed to the stairs as fast and she could, trying not to make a sound. She entered her room and looked around trying to find her loyal book. Mr Bates would enjoy some poems, she thought. Maybe it would cheer him up if she read some for him.

Then she walked towards her wardrobe and opened it, in the hopes of finding an easy enough dress for her to dress by herself, but to her surprise all her clothes were gone.

Her breath caught upon the sight and she could almost see what had happened during the night.

'What are you doing here?' The voice behind her struck her like thunder, strong and sudden and with all the bitterness that it could possibly hold.

She turned around to see her mother, or better, this woman who was no more than a vulture, dressed in black, matching the dark circles under her eyes.

'Actually, I was expecting you,' she added a moment later. 'I knew your shameless self would show up, trying to pretend nothing happened.'

'I'm not going to pretend.' Anna replied with a firm voice.

'Good.' Mrs Smith walked further into the room, rounding Anna like a predator. 'I told you, you would not come back to this house if you left to see him...and you did.' She talked as if she was making all the sense in the world. 'You did...and after everything I've done for you...

'What? What have you done for me? Dress and feed me? Offer me no love whatsoever! Why don't I remember the times you hugged me or kissed me? Or the times you told me stories or played with me? Elsie was the only one who cared, my maid! You did nothing for me expect put me in this world. A world that you turned into hell! I doubt you held me when I was born!'

'Silence!'

'And then...last night...you tried to kill the one I love the most!'

'What?'

'Don't you think I know what you did? You have a stone for a heart, Mrs Smith, and I am ashamed to be your daughter.'

'Get out, you outcast!'

'Tell me...I want to hear it from you.' Anna demanded raising her voice,

'I did it,' the older woman said with the same demand and rage. 'And I would do it again! And if I knew I would have payed for your death as well so I could be spared of this heartbreak! Be spared of this embarrassment.'

'You wicked creature!' Anna whispered in shock.

'You ungrateful bastard! After everything I've done for you?! You were nothing, I should have never taken you in. And now you shall live as you were born. As a rat in the middle of the filthy!'

'What do you mean? Taken in? What you mean!' Anna shouted, demanding more answers. Answers Mrs Smith was not willing to give, the better to haunt Anna throughout her life.

'I gave you all the chances to be someone but you were most ungrateful, and now you shall be punished for that. Get out! Get out of this house and never come back! Get out!' The woman pushed her out of the room and Anna almost tripped down the stairs. She ran into the door, and for one last time they looked at each other.

'Whatever is the matter?' Elsie's voice broke the awful spell between them.

Mrs Smith faced the maid head on. 'She choose her fate and now she'll live by it.'

But Anna knew that better than anyone else and with all the pride that she had left she raised her chin, brought her book close to her chest and bid Elsie goodbye.

XXXXXX

'Miss?' Elsie called as she ran to catch up Anna through the garden fence.

Anna looked up from her shadow. 'Elsie!' She had tears in her eyes.

'Oh Miss...I warned you this would happen, didn't I?'

Anna smiled slowly. 'I knew this would happen, Elsie, I knew it and I'll face it with my head high. I'm not afraid. All I want now is for Mr Bates to recover.'

'But?'

'But...I can't believe she's so...unloving.' She looked down thinking for a moment. 'What did she mean when she said she should never had taken me in?'

'What?' Elsie raised her brow, perplexed.

'Is there anything that you know that I don't? Please...'

'She was upset Miss, she didn't think when she said it.'

'Yes, Elsie...that's exactly what happened. She didn't think...and when one doesn't think the truth comes out more easily. There's no time to filter your thoughts, your words... What did she mean, Elsie?'

'The Mistress wanted to hurt you and she succeeded didn't she? Don't think about it, Miss.'

Anna sighed deeply sniffing a tear away. 'I need a favour.' She peeked between the metal posts. 'Can you send a message to Dr Clarkson? Tell him to come to Mr Bates... house?'

'I couldn't Miss.'

'Come on, Elsie. Do it for me, will you. Please.'

'I'll send Peter with instructions then...' Anna nodded.

'Do you know where my dresses are?'

'The Mistress sent them to Mr Bates house, I'm afraid.'

'Good.' Anna thought for a moment. 'I better go. If she sees you talking to me she'll take it on you...Thank you Elsie. For everything.'

'I'll be praying for you,' the maid said between tears.

'I know.'

XXXXXX

'What on Earth, Amelia! Have you gone mad?'

'I have yes! I've been mad since that girl was born!'

'Whatever you say...I want my daughter here with me!'

'Do you? Do you really? Your ruined daughter?' Mrs Smith said following her upset husband to his office.

'Ruined?' He stopped abruptly and turned to look at her.

'She spent the night out. With that...' she huffed in disgust. 'Did you know that? Mrs Carter sent me a note asking if everything was alright, because her maid saw… that girl coming home at dawn.' Her eyes were wide and sure that truth and right were on her side.

Mr Smith eyed his wife with a concerned look.

'She's ruined. You know Mrs Carter, she'll tell everyone before tea! A young woman like her spending the night out...in that place.'

'Surely she wouldn't do anything that would risk her...'

'Maybe she did nothing like that, but they don't care. If she spent the night out she was up to no good, and her honour is lost.'

He sighed heavily and sat down at his desk, furrowed brow and one hand on his forehead in concentration and worry, trying to understand what was happening.

'And that ungrateful didn't even give us the time to call off the wedding.' Mrs Smith fiddled with her many rings.

The man sighed impatiently. 'She gave us all the time, Amelia...we just didn't hear her.'

'Oh yes. She did. She's been over her heels for that man who works in the dammed factory. Do you think we should have heard her? Oh yes, Mr...Bates or whatever his name is, of course you can marry our only daughter and be the sole heir of our mighty business. And all this just right under your eyes!'

'I never saw him taking liberties with her, Bates...he's a headache yes but, he seems a very honourable man.'

'Who stole your daughter away! I hope you'll take your measures towards him, Simon! You have to sack him, and be sure he doesn't work ever again!'

'Yes, yes… Of course. I'll teach him a lesson. Don't worry. He won't be laughing at this I assure you!'

'What will become of us now?!' she lamented pursing her lips. 'We'll be a laughing stock. I knew that girl would bring us shame and misfortune.'

Mr Smith looked at his wife under his heavy brow.

'What? Are you forgetting that there's more than one hundred people invited for tomorrow? Family, friends, business partners and some of them yet to be. How can we face them? People will look at us and laugh.'

'That's the least of my worries, Amelia. I'm more concerned about my daughter at the moment.'

'Oh yes, you are because you don't go out and face society. You spend all day in that damned factory while I'm here, thrown at the world. You'll see… I'll be invited for tea only to talk about our shame, if I will be invited at all. Or do you think they'll appreciate my company as they used to? They won't! They are wicked and severe with everyone. I know, I participate. And church...' she smiled ironically. 'I doubt I'll be granted blessings once it reaches Reverend Travis' ears.'

'Can you please stop moaning at once! You should be worried about Anna being there, in that place, and not about those peacocks who only talk to you because of your pearls and hats.'

'How dare you?!' she chided, visibly hurt.

'I will send notes to everyone with our apology, saying that the wedding won't be happening. That's all we can do now...' He sighed, tired. 'I'll do that later.'

'With what excuse?'

'Mrs Carter will spread the excuse, won't she?'

'And everything else? The banquet, the flowers, everything?!'

'Reverend Travis will appreciate the food for the poor and the flowers for the church.' Mr Smith said standing from his chair and leaving the room.

'Where are you going?'

'I'm going to see Charles...I need to tell him this...face to face.'

'Dear God.'

'And...' he began turning abruptly towards his wife. 'This, this is all thanks to you.'

'To me?!'

'If you weren't so harsh on her...since she was a child...if you didn't have so many rules and forbidden things...she wouldn't have the need to elope like this.'

'I tried to talk to her, to make her stay, but she didn't hear me! It's not my fault.' Mrs Smith tried to deceive her husband, knowing that he would never forgive her if he knew she was the one forcing Anna from their lives.

He nodded heavily eyeing her with doubt. 'If you say so…'

XXXXXX

'He's a stupid man. After everything I've done for his daughter… and he says this is all my fault! Does he even understand how hard it is to raise girls? If only she had been a boy...' She lowered her voice, resentment filling her lungs as she spoke. 'If only my son had survived instead.'

Elsie was silent while she handed her Mistress some linen. Her eyes were fixed on the pattern of the carpet and her lips pursued.

'Don't you agree?'

'I would rather stay silent, Madam.'

'I bet you would. But you have to agree with me when I say that she's ungrateful.'

'She doesn't know, Madam...she doesn't know what she should be thankful for.'

Mrs Smith shot her a dreadful look and Elsie bowed down apologetic. 'I'm sorry, Madam...is there anything else you need?'

'I'll need some tea.'

'I'll ask Susan to bring you some.'

'No. You will bring me tea. You have no protection now, you will serve me from now on.'

'As you wish Madam. It is very kind of you that you allow me to stay, still.'

'Yes...I've always been very kind to you. I hope you never forget it.'

'No, Madam, I will never forget what you did. Never.'

'Hot and without honey. Don't forget.'

XXXXXX

'I was worried he would have some broken ribs but it doesn't look like it. Maybe fractured but not broken. Which is not to say that he doesn't need to be careful and move as little as possible.'

'And his temperature?' Mary asked.

'There's the risk of infection but if you do everything as I said, he should be fine. Clean his wounds daily and feed him well. Broth and bread, and plenty of fat milk. If he runs a temperature bath him with cold water and if it doesn't drop you call me again.'

The two women nodded. 'Thank you so much, Doctor. We'll do everything as you've told us,' said Anna.

'I'm sure...' the Doctor remarked with hesitation. 'Miss Smith, may I have a word?'

'Of course.'

They both stepped outside as the doctor looked around to be sure they were alone.

'Is it true...what they are saying?'

'What are they saying?' Anna raised her chin and pursed her lips.

'That...you are living here now?'

She sighed and nodded quickly, looking down at her hands, realising that, probably, all England would know by midnight about the ruination of the Smiths.

'I don't understand. Weren't you to marry Charles Johnson tomorrow?'

'That's why I'm here. I've run from that façade. It was against my will and...I would either marry him or be an outcast, as Mrs Smith put it...so I chose.'

'And are you sure this is the right option. Look at them...I've talked about broth and fat milk and Mrs Bates face fell to her feet. They have nothing, Miss...nothing but their own nose.'

'I'd rather have nothing than have everything while others boss my nose around.'

They both smiled awkwardly.

'I have a great regard for you.' He gave her a small smile. 'I've been your doctor since you were born. I've seen you grow into the beautiful young lady you are today. Whenever you need me, send me a note, and I'll come.'

'That's very kind of you Doctor Clarkson. Thank you.'

XXXXXX

Mary brought her old shawl closer to her shoulders. 'I've heard what the doctor said.'

'It's rude to eavesdrop.' Anna stated.

Mary rolled her eyes unamused. 'Where will you be sleeping tonight?'

'Mrs Bates, please, what did I do for you to dislike me so much?'

Mary looked towards her sleeping brother and then back at Anna. 'I see,' Anna sighed. 'I am ever so sorry that I fell in love with you brother, but...I speak from the heart when I say that it happened without my full knowledge. I know you understand.'

'Do I?'

'I thought you loved...your husband.'

'Of course I loved him! Very much.'

'Well then, you understand me. Did you ask to love him? Did you look at him and decide that you would do everything to fall for him? No one does, actually... they do, they try, but it never works. I know it from experience. It never works when you try to persuade your own heart. One's feelings are free and know no rules or laws. It just happen, and that's how it should be.'

'The children will be sleeping over Mrs Oliver.' Mary said slowly. 'She was kind enough to ask if I needed some time without them. I think it's wise to keep them there, I don't want them playing around when John needs quiet and rest and I don't want them to see him like that. No child should see such a sight.'

'That's very wise yes. They are too young to understand.'

'I have some old blankets in my room...I don't know what else to offer. Surely you don't want to share a bed with me.'

'No, I wouldn't want to be an imposition in your own bed. God knows I already am in your house. I'll accept the blankets and sleep here, on the floor.'

Mary shook her head in exasperation to herself. 'You should sleep in the bed. After all I suppose, you are a guest. John wouldn't like you sleeping on the...'

'I'll sleep here, it's decided.'

'You are very stubborn.'

Anna shrugged her shoulders and followed Mary to the room. They found some old blankets in the back of a very old wardrobe. The dark room smelled damp and its walls were covered in mold. Anna could see some cockroaches running away from the candlelight as they took the blankets out, and cringed a little at the sight.

'I told you… I thought I had put you off, I really did. You even told him I had made a wonderful job.' Mary spoke as she helped Anna shaking the dust from the rough material.

'I said you had made a wonderful job...I didn't say you had been successful.'

'I can store your dresses in here if you want. They'll be better here than in those bags.'

'No...' Anna said looking over the three big bags her mother had sent. 'I have plans for them.'

XXXXXX

The night was extremely cold, although it was summer, she didn't know why. The house was dark during the day but at night, the old ripped curtains invited the moonlight to come in as a special guest, casting an almost supernatural spell upon the walls. Anna shifted on the floor, awfully uncomfortable, and punched a very thin pillow against the floor in hopes to make it at least usable. It didn't matter how many times she did it, though, she could feel every crack and every bump against her _posh_ back.

She could hear Mary coughing every now and then; a very much annoying cough that she was sure was accompanied with blood, just like before. And also the noises of the dogs barking outside and wild cats. She could almost feel every kind of insect crawling over her and she had to close her eyes to distract herself for a moment; fear and panic haunting her and making her forget the reason why she had chosen this fate for herself.

But then, she heard him, calling her name in the night. A whisper so soft she thought for a moment it was all from her mind playing with her. But he called again, a bit louder this time, followed by a low breath and a wince of pain.

'Mr Bates?' She kneeled beside his mattress measuring his temperature with the palm of her hand. Touching him as softly as his first whisper.

'You might start calling me John.' He smiled softly as best as he could, and she smiled back at him. 'You are a mad woman,' he said between slow breaths.

'I am mad for you, yes.'

He smiled again and tried to shake his head in disapproval. 'You shouldn't.'

'I know that.'

'Your wedding is tomorrow.'

Anna laughed quietly. 'Do you really think I'm going to attend?'

'You being here...it'll be your ruin.'

'Mr Bates...I'm past that. I don't care about all that nonsense. I told you, my ruin is to be without you.'

He sighed. 'You don't know what awaits you, Anna.'

'I don't. You are right. I've been on this floor for less than two hours and my body is complaining about it already...I know it won't be easy, but...if you are by my side I can face anything.'

'You saved me. I remember that.'

'It was a selfish act,' she joked.

'Thank you.'

She smiled before standing up and reaching for the book she had placed on the table.

'I've brought my book,' she told him, sitting back besides him. 'The poetry one.'

'Your loyal companion...'

'Yes. Do you want me to read for you?'

'I would like that very much.'

She kept on reading through the night. One poem after the other as he asked for more. The sound of her voice in the dark, her soft words echoing in his ears, as if this was no more than one of his many dreams of her. He would open his eyes from those beautiful dreams now and then, and she would be there, in the same room as him, and she would be as real as he was. His eyes would take in every feature of her face as the sweet gentle moonlight bathed her in a glorious spell. She would smile at him shyly, whenever she caught him staring, but as composed as she could possibly be she would return to her reading, as if she were some sort of angelic orator, bringing him all the peace he needed in this time of doubts and insecurities.

John was still too weak to sit or move more than a simple shift but when the light of the moon began to drop low as the morning came, he reached for her hands with one of his own and caressed her fingers.

'As troubled as all this situation is...' he began slowly, almost teary. 'I am glad you are here.'

She said nothing because she didn't know how to respond to that. For the first time he admitted he wanted her with him and although she already knew that, for she could see it written all over his face, his words gave her even more courage. All the courage she would need, and with that, she squeezed his battered hand gently with her own, enjoying the feeling of his warm and long fingers enveloping her both hands completely.

'I should sleep and so should you,' she said a moment later, when she couldn't take his eyes and his warmth anymore, as her own feelings for him frightened her a little.

'Yes.' He dragged the word between his teeth. 'We should sleep.'

And soon and without any more problems or sore limbs or fears in her mind, she fell into a peaceful deep sleep, while he stared at her golden hair cascading down her back, now embedded in the early rays of sunlight. He looked at her one last time, as she lay there sleeping as if she were a fairy princess in a tall, cold tower, protected by a spell that would only be broken by love.

He sighed before joining her in her dreams. He already loved her so much, and the spell was already broken, so why was she still sleeping in darkness and doubt?

XXXXXX

In another house, a mother cried. She cried for this so loved child that never belonged to her, not truly, and yes, she would never forget the pain and hardship. She was not thankful, not one bit. She was filled with revolt and hatred, for the one who promised to protected her child from everything; for the one who promised to care and love and never fail her. But all promises had been broken, long since the first day they were made and until the last. And she would not forgive her, not ever.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Next Chapter:<strong> Anna continues to deal with her choices and trying to understand the meaning behind Mrs Smith's words. Meanwhile John's still recovering in bed when an unexpected visitor knocks at their door. _

_Thank you for reading!_


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